Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 23

Chapter 23 Is he still alive?

Gu Ye took out the small box he carried with him from his pocket. Taking out a small cinnabar pen from inside, he squatted down and drew a formation on the ground. Then he put the talisman paper in the center of the formation. Next, Gu Ye stood up and took a step back, drawing a slightly smaller formation. After that, he gets up and draws again.

Watching from the side, Zhao Pengyu found that the formation drawn by Gu Ye is decreasing successively, getting smaller and simpler. He asked puzzledly, “Gu Ye, what are you doing?”

After drawing the last formation, Gu Ye stood up and hooked his fingers at Zhao Pengyu, beckoning him.

Zhao Pengyu walked over, “Need help?”

Gu Ye took Zhao Pengyu’s hand before pulling off the cap on the other end of the cinnabar pen to reveal a small needlepoint. Before Zhao Pengyu understood what Gu Ye wanted to do, he felt a stabbing pain at his finger, “Damn! What are you doing?”

Gu Ye explained solemnly, “Every formation needs a drop of blood. You are built stronger than me so your Yang energy must be stronger than mine. Your blood is easier to use.”

Zhao Pengyu raised his eyebrows, “I think you are simply afraid of pain.”

Being exposed, Gu Ye did not refute. He pulled Zhao Pengyu to drip a drop of blood on each of the formations he had drawn on the floor. Then he pushed Zhao Pengyu away and said, “Stay away, don’t get in the way.”

Zhao Pengyu grinds his teeth, what the hell is this kind of toxic friend?!

Standing in the smallest formation, Gu Ye narrowed his eyes, and sneered at the corner of his mouth, “Yangming Dakui, Yuanji Wenchang, Yinjing Taiji, Taishang Xuanji, listen to my orders and return to your position*!”

*[Banana: I’m not going to translate in detail regarding the chants as Banana also dunno if those are fictional or real Taoist chants #CantUnderstandLol. _(;3/ Just let it be ya]

As soon as Gu Ye finished speaking, somewhere at a distance of more than 100 kilometers away, a middle-aged man who was sleeping on the bed suddenly opened his eyes. His pair of mousy eyes the size of mung beans are wide open as he got up in disbelief.

Opening a purple box on the table, he saw a black line appear on the talisman paper inside. A wicked cold light flashed in his eyes. Immediately, the man picked up the long sword made of copper coins, picked up the talisman paper, and began to gesticulate while chanting. As the man chanted, the talisman straightened instantly from its limp state, like a spinach that had absorbed enough water.

Gu Ye tilted his head, as if sensing something. The corner of his mouth slightly curved and he took another step forward, standing in the next circle. With his cinnabar pen, he draws a few simple strokes and said, “Feigang breath, ten thousand ghosts submit, hundreds of ghosts obey my orders, return to your positions!”

The middle-aged man felt that there is dark gloomy air around him, and he felt like he is stuck in a quagmire. The spiritual energy is getting lesser, making it difficult for him to breathe due to the pressure. As the Yin wind under his feet is getting stronger, the man hurriedly chanted something and danced to a ritual. With the other free hand, he burned a talisman paper and poured the ashes into the water. He suppressed nausea and drank it, and he felt better afterward.

Gu Ye pursed his lips and took a step into another formation. The 7-star fighting formation, every step is stronger than the previous step. This formation lets the other party feel the pressure step by step, pulling them into the abyss of despair. Destroying the opponent’s will step by step, that’s the kind of game that’s fun to play.

Zhao Pengyu watched as Gu Ye muttered an incomprehensible sentence every step he took, the blood-red talisman had gradually turned yellow. Then, as Gu Ye approached nearer to the biggest formation, the talisman paper trembled with every step, as if it is afraid. The scene was really strange to watch.

The middle-aged man just managed to take a breath when he suddenly felt something pressing down on the top of his head. Sensing the ghostly aura above, he gritted his teeth and crawled under the table. He took out a mahogany wood sword that he had treasured for a long time, and stabbed upwards with all his strength. The force from above paused, and the middle-aged man’s eyes showed joy.

However, just as the man felt hopeful, the force pressing down suddenly multiplied several times, as if something heavy fell straight down on him. The mahogany wood sword snapped and the middle-aged man let out a scream. His right hand is twisted unnaturally; it is broken.

The corner of Gu Ye’s mouth curved up, and his footsteps still did not stop until he reached the 6th step. Then, Gu Ye stopped and tilted his head, as if sensing something.

Zhao Pengyu didn’t dare to disturb Gu Ye, for fear that something might happen to Gu Ye. Then, he wouldn’t be able to explain himself to the Gu family.

Gu Ye paused for more than 10 seconds, then suddenly laughed, “Tough-life thing, but Laozi has never lost a spell fight.” He finally raised his foot, stood in the last formation, and stepped on the talisman paper with one foot, “The excursion of 4 sages, 7 evil spirits follow behind. 5 heavenly emperors and demon lord, 8 caves take refuge. Axis of heaven and earth, soldiers of heaven and earth, listen to my order, return to your positions. Kill!”

As soon as the last two words are said, a gust of wind rose in the living room. In this early afternoon, Zhao Pengyu and Aunt Wang who were watching from the side felt a chill running down their back.

Gu Ye stood there quietly, and his hair fluttered without wind. In his pair of pitch-black eyes, there is a faint smile that revealed Gu Ye’s determination to win. Coupled with his exquisite face, he looked like an evil spirit that has descended into the world, giving people an inexplicable bewitching feeling.

The middle-aged man who cast the curse vomited blood and fell to the ground. All his limbs are twisted unnaturally, and broken into several pieces inside. He turned to look at the talisman paper and spat out blood again in horror. With a roll of his eyes, the man passed out.

Gu Ye picked up the talisman paper from the ground. He took a lighter from the table and burned it on the spot. After that, he reminded Aunt Wang, who is still in a state of shock, “It’s best for the family not to go out these days. Everyone should listen to the Diamond Sutra more. As for the fee, you can hold it first. Give it to me again when you have money.”

Gu Ye called Zhao Pengyu, “Let’s go to eat something delicious. I’ll order a soft-shelled turtle soup for you to nourish your body.”

Zhao Pengyu caught what Gu Ye meant and ran over, grabbing Gu Ye’s neck with both hands, “I’m not that delicate!”

“Then you will follow me to kill demons and exorcist ghosts in the future, and be my mobile blood bank?”

“In your dreams! So, this matter with Aunt Wang is resolved?”

Gu Ye glanced at Aunt Wang, “As for the rest, I can only let her solve it by herself. Maybe her friend just took a fancy to her life and wanted to take away her good luck. Unexpectedly, she found a vicious master, who wanted to kill Aunt Wang’s family to realize his ulterior motive.”

“That master, how is he now?”

Gu Ye casually shrugged, “It’s not important.”

Hearing that, Zhao Pengyu felt speechless. What the hell it means by ‘it’s not important’?

When the two young men came to the elevator, they happened to meet a girl in her early twenties who just came home with a bag on her back. Zhao Pengyu bared his teeth and teased, “Yo~ Freshman big sister is back?”

The girl glared at Zhao Pengyu angrily, scolding ‘little rascal’ under her breath. She swung the backpack on her shoulders, almost slapped Zhao Pengyu in his face, and walked away with a temper.

Embarrassed, Zhao Pengyu said, “Her temper is still so big!”

Gu Ye raised his eyebrows, “Aunt Wang’s daughter?”

Zhao Pengyu spread his hands, “Yes. I think I have forgotten how I offended her when I was a child, but she kept calling me little rascal whenever she sees me.”

Gu Ye smiled, “Maybe you were naughty when you were young, and you did some bastardly to her, and you forgot all about it.”

Hearing that, Zhao Pengyu scratched his head, feeling really guilty.

Hang Siwen knocked on the door, and it lets Aunt Wang recover from the shock just now. Opening the door, she saw her daughter, and asked in surprise, “Why did you come back so soon? Didn’t you go to the hospital?”

“Detour from the east, it’s closer to home. Dad called me and said he’s fine except for a broken arm so I decided to come back to see you first.”

Aunt Wang saw that her daughter’s expression is not very good, and asked in concern, “Why is your little face looking like this? Are you sick?”

At the mention of this, Hang Siwen hugged her mother’s neck in fear, “You almost lost your daughter. Fortunately, I listened to your words. By the way, where is the master? I have to pay homage to him.”

“The master has left. It’s not very long ago, so you should have seen him at the elevator.”

“I only saw that rascal Zhao Pengyu and a beautiful boy that he abducted.”

Aunt Wang helplessly replied, “That little handsome boy is the master you are looking for.”

Hang Siwen dropped her bag in shock, “His face is so small! Very ‘shou-looking’!!”

Aunt Wang felt speechless, what do girls focus on nowadays? Boys of this age are growing, so they are ‘thin’.

*[Banana: The word ‘thin/瘦’ has the same pronunciation as the word uke/bottom/shou]

The mother and daughter went to the hospital together to see Mr. Hang. After making sure there is nothing wrong with her husband, Aunt Wang called the driver to send her straight to a flower shop.

Entering the door of the flower shop, Aunt Wang closed the door casually. The female owner of the shop is a beautiful woman with a classic appearance. She has a slender figure, wearing a blue cheongsam. As soon as she saw Aunt Wang, she ran towards the door enthusiastically, “Why are you here at this time? You have free time?”

Aunt Wang had a cold face. She waited for the woman to come to her side before raising her fleshy hand, and slapping her face, “I’m not free, I should be in the hospital right now!”

Aunt Wang is chubby and has great strength. The female owner’s thin body staggered by the force of Aunt Wang’s slap, and almost fell on the ground. She covered her face and looked at Aunt Wang in shock, her eyes seemed to say, are you crazy?

Seeing the woman’s innocent-looking face, Aunt Wang is so angry that she wanted to tear her apart, “How have I treated you all these years? When your parents don’t have money for medical treatment, I lent it to you! When you don’t have a place to live, I helped you rent a house! When you want to open a flower shop, I rented out this shop of mine to you at a low price, and helped you make contacts! Even when you were bullied when you were a child, I would fight back for you, why did you want to kill my whole family?”

The woman burst into tears, and asked aggrievedly, “What nonsense are you talking about? How could I harm you?”

“I don’t need to hear your quibble. Your handwriting, I have seen it since I was a child. It has been more than 40 years. We have been friends for more than 40 years!” Aunt Wang’s eyes turned red with sadness, “I just came to tell you about this store that I opened for you. It’s my storefront so I’m taking it back. I’ll send someone to check it tomorrow at noon so take your flowers and get lost.”

As soon as the woman heard that her terrible deed had been discovered, her face immediately turned pale. She subconsciously grabbed Aunt Wang, not daring to let go of this childhood friend that she had been relying on, but couldn’t find an excuse to say.

Aunt Wang flung the woman away in disgust. Opening the door, she took the potted fortune tree from the driver. The pot has been broken by Gu Ye, and the soil left by the roots smells fishy. “I’m returning this potted flower to you. I can’t call the police on the grounds that you cursed my whole family, but I can keep an eye on you from now on. In the remaining 50 years, you must be cautious (and don’t do anything bad). Otherwise, I will create an opportunity for you to redeem your sins.”

The woman is finally scared. Her future life is cut off, so how will she live in the future? She rushed up and hugged Aunt Wang’s leg, and cried, “Meijuan, I admit my mistake. I was blinded by my feelings. This kind of thing is just feudal superstition, how could it work? I’m just jealous that you live so well, while I’m miserable. We grew up together, I look better than you, studied better than you, but why do you get to marry better than me? I just didn’t think properly at that moment! I just wanted your good luck, I just wanted to live a life like yours!”

Aunt Wang felt cold in her heart, “You wanted my life, but what should I do?”

“I… I will treat you as well as you did to me!” The woman cried and pulled Aunt Wang, “For the sake of our years of friendship, please forgive me this time. I won’t believe in feudal superstition in the future, I won’t be jealous of you anymore!”

Hearing that, Aunt Wang just felt that it is funny, “Feudal superstition? Do you really think that it doesn’t work? Not to mention whether it works or not, just that thought alone makes me sick. Where do you have the face to ask me to forgive you? I am too kind to you. Too kind that it makes you feel that it’s okay to take away all my things.” Aunt Wang raised her foot in disgust, but couldn’t release herself from the woman’s grip so the driver came to drag her away with a cold face.

Aunt Wang wiped her wet eyes, and said indifferently, “There are many poor people out there, but one can’t be without principle. I have already informed your husband. Go back with him, and live a good life.”

“No! No! He will beat me to death! Why are you so cruel?!” The woman cried pitifully like pear blossoms in the rain and her body is covered with crushed flowers and soil. She pounced towards Aunt Wang like crazy but was pulled by the driver halfway and pushed aside.

Seeing Aunt Wang walking away proudly, the woman crawled forward two steps with both hands and feet, but she still didn’t manage to touch even Aunt Wang’s clothes. She covered her face in despair, trembling all over. Compared with the shock of losing her source of income and having no shelter, she is more afraid of her husband. That’s a demon, he’ll hound her like gangrene, sucking her to the last drop of blood. She lived in domestic violence every day and finally managed to escape. She couldn’t believe that Aunt Wang would treat her like this, and she didn’t dare to think about how she would live in the future.

Trembling, she took out her mobile phone and found Aunt Wang’s number. She wanted to pray for another chance. She wants her life like that, yes. She wanted to exchange her life with her. Is it wrong for her to want to live a good life? Didn’t Wang Meijuan appear in front of her, well and unharmed? Obviously, nothing happened, why did she treat her like this?

It’s a pity that the call didn’t connect as she has been blocked. Their friendship has completely broken.

The woman went back to the flower shop and cried a lot. With a heartbroken heart, she dialed a series of numbers, “Hello? Master, the spell last time is discovered. Is there any way to remedy it? You promised me, as long as I give you money and her birthdate characters, you can let me absorb her good luck and live a good life. What should I do now? What should I do?!”

“What should you do? Nothing. This guy couldn’t even take care of himself now, how can he save you?”

This sloppy voice is obviously different from the master she saw last time, so the woman asked vigilantly, “Who are you?”

The other side answered seriously, “Instant Noodle Superman (it’s like Power Rangers).”



Two young men in black trench coats are in the fortune teller’s small shop. After hanging up the woman’s call, they turned to look at the fortune teller’s miserable appearance. They kicked him in disgust, “No zuo no die! See, met a powerful opponent, didn’t you? Btw, hello, mxthxrfxckxr. We are from the Xuanshu Association, please go back with us to accept the investigation.”

The other colleague looked more decent. He said, “He can’t hear you anymore. His opponent didn’t want his life, it’s just that this lesson is harsh. He won’t be able to work in this line of work in the future anymore.”

“He deserves it! Look at the things he raises. He uses human life to raise the little devil and then sells the little devil to make money. Black-hearted bastard, he must have several lives in his hands. Eh? What is this?”

The two found a cracked talisman on the altar. What surprised them was not the viciousness of the spell, but the way the spell now appeared. It seemed to have been crushed by something, full of golden veins. Such a result can only be caused by being pressured by very fierce things.

The man who called himself Instant Noodle Superman became serious, “The person who took care of him actually used this method. Do you feel familiar?”

His colleague carefully packed the spell, “Take it back and let Lu Yun appraise it. There may be other descendants from his sect.”

“It won’t be everyone from that sect all have the same personality?”

“If so, the management will have a headache.”

Raw word count: 4223

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