Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Gu Ye seemed to be a little evil

In his lifetime, Gu Ye has never encountered the legendary school violence before so Gu Ye became so excited that he rolled up his sleeves, “You don’t need to worry about the second half of my semester year. Instead, you should worry about the second half of your life.”

3 minutes later, Gu Ye calmly returned to his seat under the shocked eyes of the whole class.

Not long after, the dean went to the toilet. As soon as he opened the toilet door, he found 2 nekid students hugging each other and falling asleep. That flash of pale white skin, it’s really stinging the eyes. The dean almost spat out a mouthful of old blood, “Indecent! How scandalous! Crazy! This is really crazy!!”

The dean immediately blocked the toilet (from anyone coming in) and called Teacher Yu, the homeroom teacher of Class 6, with his phone.

Teacher Yu is almost 50 years old and has been teaching for decades, but he has never seen such a student. Qian Zhen and Hu Mingming are well-known troublemakers in school. They often bully their classmates and talk back to the teacher. There is even a handful of new female teachers who got angered to tears by them before. Teacher Yu knew that they were difficult to manage, but he didn’t expect them to do such a crazy thing. After calling a few times but couldn’t wake them up, Teacher Yu took a glass of cold water angrily and poured it directly on their heads and faces, “Wake up this instant! It’s outrageous! It’s outrageous!”

Qian Zhen woke up and looked at the dean and homeroom teacher with a confused face. Then he looked at Hu Mingming who is still clinging to his body. The teacher didn’t scare him, but the latter caused him to jump up from the shock, “Fck it! What the hell! Hu Mingming, why didn’t you frick’in wear any clothes?!”

Next, Qian Zhen looked down at himself and got dumbfounded. What the hell happened? He just remembered pulling Gu Ye to the toilet, trying to avoid surveillance to beat him up. Then he couldn’t remember anything.

“You two, get dressed first.” Teacher Yu turned pale from the anger, and then said earnestly, “Teacher will not look down on 2 boys getting together, but you shouldn’t choose to do such things in this place at this age! This is a school! It’s a place for teaching and educating people! How dare you..”

Teacher Yu pressed his buzzing forehead, and couldn’t continue speaking. Oh no, he felt dizzy.

Only then did Qian Zhen understand what Teacher Yu meant, and he got immediately annoyed, “Old man Yu, what do you mean? Me and him? I…” Qian Zhen felt physically sick when he saw Hu Mingming’s pale and fat body. Immediately, he felt nausea coming, “urgh!”

The dean had a cold expression, and when he heard his attitude toward the homeroom teacher, he scolded angrily, “Qian Zhen! Call your parents over! We must have a good talk, what kind of students are you?!”

Hu Mingming also woke up in both shock and nausea. He explained while putting on his clothes, “Teacher, you really misunderstood us. It’s Gu Ye! That little bastard Gu Ye did it!”

Teacher Yu laughed out angrily, “Gu Ye is famous for his honesty in the whole school, and he dares not even speak loudly. How did he do such a thing? Do you think this teacher is a fool? You made a mistake and didn’t know how to repent. Call your parents over also!”

‘Evil news rides fast, while good news baits later’. The story of Qian Zhen and Hu Mingming from 3rd year Class 6, being nekid in the bathroom and embracing each other spread throughout the school in less than the duration of a lesson. The gang of school bullies all got shocked speechless. It turns out that Brother Zhen and Brother Ming have this kind of relationship!

At noon, the parents of Qian Zhen and Hu Mingming came. Under the sincere pleas of the parents, Teacher Yu said solemnly, “It stands to reason that both of them should be expelled immediately. But the school considered the future development of the two and they are going to take the college entrance examination soon. Hence, we decided to give them a chance to reform themselves. For this time, we’ll just say that they fought in the toilet, and the incident will be dealt with as a major demerit. Next time, they will be expelled directly.”

The parents from both families bowed gratefully to the teacher to thank them, and inside their hearts, they both wanted to beat their sons to death.

Qian Zhen felt really aggrieved, “Gu Ye obviously did this. Teacher, are you blind?”

As soon as the words fell, Qian Zhen’s father kicked him angrily, “Shut up!”

Qian Zhen clenched his fists resentfully, looking at his father with fire in his eyes.

Teacher Yu is dissatisfied with Qian Zhen’s attitude and said, “The school checked the surveillance in the corridor and only found the footage of you two violently dragging Gu Ye into the toilet. If you say Gu Ye did it, then tell me clearly how he did it.”

Qian Zhen opened his mouth, but he had nothing to say as he had no memory of this timeframe.

After the two got a terrible scolding, they went to the cafeteria to eat lunch. At this moment, they received countless gazes from their classmates secretly paying attention to them. Both Qian Zhen and Hu Mingming really wanted to tear Gu Ye apart.

Seeing Gu Ye who is eating in the corner, Qian Zhen’s eyes almost turned green with hatred, “It’s definitely the bastard Gu Ye who did it!”

Hu Mingming said in a low voice, “We can’t make mistakes again, otherwise we will be expelled.”

Qian Zhen glared at Gu Ye viciously and said, “When we are outside the school, I’ll give him a good lesson!”

For the first time, Qian Zhen didn’t sleep in class in the afternoon and just glared at Gu Ye’s back, thinking about how to deal with him. After the afternoon class is over, a shorty came to Qian Zhen and said secretly, “Brother Zhen, I found out that Gu Ye’s younger brother is also in our school. He is a freshman.”

At this moment, Gu Ye, who is about 7 or 8 tables away from them, suddenly turned his face around and lightly smiled at the two of them. Gu Ye’s appearance is already exquisite, with a pair of peach blossom eyes, and eyes black as black jade. He used to look dazed in the past and no one can’t see anything on his face. Now that he smiled, he is indeed good-looking but his black eyes are scary. The two of them immediately felt a chill, from the soles of their feet to the top of their head. The hairs all over their body stood up.

Gu Ye said with a smile, “A month from now, you will be possessed by bad luck, so try to live on.”

“Frck you!”

Qian Zhen never felt this kind of anger before. He is usually the one who bullies others, but when Gu Ye provoked him, his brain just short-circuited. He didn’t want to care about the consequences, he just wanted to beat Gu Ye up. However, in the next second, Qian Zhen fell to the ground with a smack. His 1.8-meter body fell flat on the ground. Blood flowed down his chin from his nose. Everyone around got stunned, what the hell?! When did Gu Ye possess a crow’s mouth (jinx)?!

Qian Zhen’s little underlings swiftly rushed up and dragged their big brother to the infirmary to stop the bleeding. Just as they arrived at the door, a basketball flew toward Qian Zhen’s forehead at full speed. After hitting him, it bounced off like a cannonball for several meters away so one could guess how great was the force.

“F U K! Who?! Whose ball was it?!”

Hearing Qian Zhen’s furious scolding in the corridor, the whole class turned to look at Gu Ye and their gaze became strange. Gu Ye seemed to be a bit evil!

After a self-study session in the evening, Gu Ye returned to the dormitory and found that the vacant bed on his upper bunk had already been covered with bedding. The classmate standing by the bed smiled shyly. He has a baby face and is not very tall, so he looked even smaller with a smile.

“Xia Xiang, why did a top student like you come to our dormitory?”

One of the roommates, Wang Kai, frowned, looking at the newcomer with hostility and fear. The level of test scores in this dormitory is generally around the middle and lower threshold, but they are not bad people. Being able to put Gu Ye in this dormitory is also specially arranged by the teacher (so that he won’t get bullied again). Gu Ye looked at another roommate and found that he had the same look in his eyes, which is a bit strange. Is this the hostility of low-level students towards top students?

Xia Xiang lowered his head in embarrassment, and said falteringly, “It’s not convenient to live in the previous dormitory, so I moved.”

This reason is obviously an excuse, but Gu Ye is not in the mood to care about what’s up with these children, so he took his things to wash up. At this moment, Wang Kai also walked out behind him. After leaving the dormitory, Wang Kai said, “Gu Ye, remember to stay away from Xia Xiang.”

“Why?”

When Gu Ye asked this question, Wang Kai is a little surprised. In the past, Gu Ye would say “En” and accept whatever was told to him, but now he would ask why. Looking at Gu Ye’s eyes now, Wang Kai is even more surprised. Gu Ye seemed to be different. But boys don’t care about such details so Wang Kai didn’t take the change seriously. Looking around, and after making sure there is no one around, he told Gu Ye in a low voice, “His eyes are different from ours, he can see things we can’t see. Many people know about this.”

After that, Wang Kai clicked his tongue irritably, “I don’t know why he moved to our dormitory. Doesn’t that means we will live nervously from now on?”

Gu Ye asked solemnly, “The thing you mean is a ghost?”

“Shh!” Wang Kai is someone who is quite peculiar with taboos, “Don’t mention this word. Our school used to be a mass graveyard, so be careful what you say will come.”

Gu Ye saw that Wang Kai had a good physique. He is tall and big, and he is a strong young man. But Gu Ye didn’t expect him to be so timid, “What are there to be afraid of? If ghosts dare to come, you just take off your pants and pee on them. Virgin boy’s urine could ward off evil spirits.”

Wang Kai: “…”

Is this really Gu Ye? Has he gone crazy?

At the same time in a small courtyard, a middle-aged man with a mustache wearing a half-worn Taoist robe, holding a talisman, and kept making gestures while muttering words. Li Shengkai and his wife is standing by the wall watching intently. Their forehead is covered with sweat. After offending Gu Decheng, the Li family clearly has no chance of winning over him who publicly went against them. Hu Yu played a bad hand, and now the entire top society circle knows that the couple committed a suicidal offense to the Gu family. No one wants to be on their side. The couple can’t help it and can only take the risk, cursing the Gu family to be ruined. First of all, they start with Gu Decheng!

When the little paper figure with Gu Decheng’s name written on it is thrown into the brazier, the flames suddenly rose more than 1 meter high. There is a faint blue light inside the distorted flame, which seems weird no matter how you looked at it. A look of joy appeared in Li Shengkai’s eyes. As long as Gu Decheng died, half of the Gu family would collapse. He is sure that the two juniors, Gu Sen and Gu Lin, couldn’t beat him in business yet. As for Gu Ye and Gu Yang, these two useless sons are automatically ignored by him.

Just when the couple thought their wish had been fulfilled, the flame suddenly got pressed down slowly and seemed to be suppressed by something. The entire top of the flame is flattened, and the flame more than 1 meter high is pressed more and more like a blanket. With this change, the couple became anxious. That master’s expression is not good either. With a sullen face pinching his fingers, he chanted faster and faster and the suppressed flame struggled unwillingly. But the thing that is pressing down is too strong, there is no resistance at all.

At this moment, at the gate of the Gu family’s house, a small figure made of golden light emerged from the mouth of the stone lion. It caught the black shadow hovering at the entrance, grabbed one side with one hand, and brutally tore it in half.

At the same time, with a BANG, the brazier burst suddenly!

“Pfft!” The master immediately spat out a mouthful of blood and fell to the ground with a listless face.

“Ah! Fire, fire, fire!” Li Shengkai and his wife got so frightened by the flying sparks and ran out of the door regardless of the master. In the blink of an eye, the small courtyard is on fire. The master who had just vomited blood looked pale and is crawling out with both hands and feet. Before he could get to the door, a pillar fell from the beam and hit him on the head. A famous master rolled his eyes and passed out directly just like this. In the fire, only the little paper figure with Gu Decheng’s name on it is lying quietly on the ground. It is surrounded by an invisible layer, and it is completely unharmed. Gradually, the name on the figure disappeared, and the paper figure then turned into ashes.

Gu Ye noticed that the spell he had left at home had activated, so he pinched his fingers to calculate. Then, the corners of his mouth gradually curved up. Working in this line of work, they must not do harm to others, otherwise, they will be punished by the heavens.

In the middle of the night, all the students fell into a deep sleep. On the fake rockery in the backfield, a strong resentment gathered together to form a dark ghost figure. The ghostly figure quietly came to Gu Ye’s dormitory, sticking to the glass like a gecko. Not sure who pulled the curtains before going to bed, but that person didn’t draw them tightly. Hence, in the gap between the curtains, which is not wider than a finger’s width, a pair of blood-red eyes are revealed, looking greedily at the Xia Xiang who is on Gu Ye’s upper bunk.

Gu Ye quietly opened his eyes and glanced at the window. No wonder there are evil spirits and resentment hidden in the Yin aura. It turned out that there is such a big treasure hidden in the school.

Raw word count: 3597

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Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Encountered bullying at school

When Mrs. Gu came home, Gu Ye and Gu Yang were both packing their school bags. They were high school students who lived on campus and were only allowed to go home once a month for only 3 days, so they packed a lot of things back to the dormitory. Mrs. Gu checked their school bags and then went to the kitchen. She brought out a lot of dried meat, fruit, bread, and snacks, and stuffed them into their school bags.

Gu Ye glanced at Gu Yang’s schoolbag, and muttered in a low voice, “I think younger brother has more than I do.”

“Really?” Gu Yang looked confused and wanted to take out his bag for comparison.

Mrs. Gu slapped off his paw angrily and gave Gu Ye another bag of beef jerky. Then she said with a little embarrassment in her tone, “The college entrance examination is half a year away. Eat more and study hard.”

Gu Ye picked up his schoolbag in satisfaction, and said with a smile, “Thank you, Mom!”

The word ‘Mom’ made Mrs. Gu’s expression still, and her mood became a bit complicated. But seeing Gu Ye’s smiling face looking satisfied, she couldn’t help it. The corners of her mouth curved up, and she rubbed Gu Ye’s head vigorously. “Study hard! Don’t let others say you are stupid!”

Gu Ye nodded with a smile, “En!”

“By the way, have you finished your homework for the winter vacation?” Mrs. Gu’s complexion looked gentle as she asked. It was rare to have this harmonious mother-and-son scene but unexpectedly, Gu Yang’s complexion changed when she asked this question.

Mrs. Gu’s face immediately darkened, “You didn’t finish?”

Gu Yang scratched his head. He was having too much fun and had totally forgotten everything about homework.

“If you didn’t do it, then no need to do,” Gu Ye touched his younger brother’s head, solemnly comforting: “You foolish child is blessed with a fool’s fortune. You don’t need to study hard at all as you are destined to accomplish nothing anyway. You can’t learn anything well, so you don’t have to study hard. I have calculated for you, your teacher won’t scold you even if you don’t do your homework this time.”

Hearing that, Gu Yang raised his head instantly, feeling elated.

Mrs. Gu immediately looked bad, “You yourself can’t study well, and now you want to drag your brother with you!”

At this moment, Gu Ye suddenly moved closer to Gu Yang. He looked at the space between Gu Yang’s eyebrows, and laughed, “Old Fourth, you will make a small fortune soon. Hurry up and buy a lottery ticket, you will definitely win something.”

“Whoa! I’m going out now!”

Before Mrs. Gu finished speaking, Gu Yang had already run away, causing his mother to stomp her feet in anger.

Gu Yang really bought a 5-number lottery ticket, it happened to be the draw date tonight. After dinner, Gu Yang held the lottery ticket, raised it reverently above his head, and said solemnly, “Dear souls of my grandparents, please bless me!” After speaking, he looked at the door and saw that no one is around, so he added in a low voice, “Third brother, please bless me!”

As a result, the lottery hit a win!

Gu Yang excitedly run around at home, and enthusiastically knocked on Gu Ye’s door, “Brother! I won the lottery! I really won the lottery! It’s the 3rd prize! Five bets equal 15,000 RMB!”

Although the Gu family is rich, the children’s pocket money is strictly controlled. It is impossible to use the money earned by his father to pick up girls, race cars and buy luxury goods. If Gu Yang wants to buy an expensive toy, he must apply in advance. When necessary, he also has to do housework at home to earn pocket money. 15,000 RMB is no small amount of money to Gu Yang. He is so overjoyed, he could wag his tail like a propeller and fly to the sky. Right now, he doesn’t want to sleep and just wants to run around.

Gu Ye is about to take a shower and go to bed. He opened the door and expressionlessly looked at the approaching face of a crazy kid, “Shut up and go to sleep!”

Gu Yang got so frightened that he trembled all over. Next, he walked away in despair holding the lottery ticket.

Mrs. Gu who was on the first floor raised her eyebrows in surprise. Gu Yang really won the lottery? Then Old Third previously said that wearing the red dress made her poorer, is it true as well?

Early the next morning, Mrs. Gu wore a little yellow dress unlike the usual red and came out of the kitchen beautifully carrying 2 bowls of noodles. When she saw the brothers coming downstairs, she said gently, “One bowl of noodles for each person, plus 2 eggs. Remember to score 100* points in each subject”

*1 egg equals 1 zero, so 2 eggs mean 2 zeroes = 100 XD It’s a Chinese thing

Gu Ye: “Mom, no matter how much noodles and eggs we eat, we won’t get 100 points on the test, because scoring 100 points is related to IQ.”

Mrs. Gu: “…shut up!”

After Gu Ye sat down, he looked at Gu Yang’s bowl again, “Mom, I think the egg in my brother’s bowl is bigger than mine.”

The corner of Mrs. Gu’s mouth twitched, “Nonsense! This time all 4 eggs are all the same size!”

Only then was Gu Ye satisfied, “Oh, my mistake then.”

Mrs. Gu: “…” Little bastard, hurry up and go to school to harm others instead!

Before leaving, Gu Ye stuffed a piece of talisman into the mouths of the 2 stone lions at the gate. Then, he got into the car with a smile under Mrs. Gu’s expectant eyes.

Gu Ye is in his 3rd year while Gu Yang is in his 1st year of high school. The two brothers are in the same school but not on the same campus. Gu Yang got off the car at the north gate and happened to meet a classmate with a good relationship. Like a big dog just got loose from the rope, he ran away happily while pulling his luggage.

Gu Ye shook his head with a smile and then looked at the school, his eyes narrowed slightly. Before entering the school gate, he felt a conflict between Yin and Yang. It has been known since ancient times that schools are built in places with heavy Yin aura (like mass graves or execution sites) so that students’ Yang aura could be used to suppress evil spirits. Hence, detecting some Yin aura is normal. However, the Yin aura here is obviously not normal, and he could see hints of red color resentment and black color evil spirit hidden within.

When the car arrived at the north* gate, the driver stopped the car and helped Gu Ye take down the things, “Third Young Master, I will put the things in the guard room for you. After you have eaten lunch later, remember to take your luggage back to the dormitory.”

*Probably a typo from the author as Gu Yang already left at North gate

Gu Ye said with a smile, “Okay, thank you for your hard work.”

The driver uncle got slightly taken aback. He never expected that Gu Ye would show such a bright smile one day. Under the sunlight, the corners of the young man’s mouth curved up, and his beautiful eyes smiled into crescent moons. His long eyelashes are like a small fan, casting a small shadow on his fair face, making his lips redder and his teeth gleaming white. All these are making Gu Yang look very handsome. Infected by his smile, the driver uncle happily gripped his fist at Gu Ye, and cheered, “Third Young Master, good luck!”

Gu Ye nodded, put on his schoolbag, and entered the school. In fact, he is feeling very helpless in his heart. He had to live a new life and had to go through the college entrance examination again. How could life be so difficult?

As soon as Gu Ye entered the school, a few students who have been standing by the window of the corridor on the 3rd floor of the teaching building saw him.

“Tell Boss quickly, that foolish young master is here!”

“He dared to complain to his father, causing Boss to get confined for the whole winter vacation. He is sure gutsy!”

“I guarantee that Boss will definitely teach him a lesson, a lesson that makes him obedient.”

As soon as Qian Zhen heard from his underling’s report, he grinned and the corner of his mouth curved up. He cursed viciously, “Well fcck! This coward still dared to come here!”

Qian Zhen has always been the school bully at Wu Zhong School. Wu Zhong is indeed well-known in the whole city for its high admission rate, but there are still some incompetent students within. Qian Zhen is the leader among the bad students. Fighting, making a ruckus, smoking, drinking, having a girlfriend, as long as it has nothing to do with studying, he is familiar with all of it. He is also a local, so with a rich family background, ordinary students dare not mess with him. A rich second generation like Gu Ye can actually compete with Qian Zhen, and even step above him. However, the original body was a coward. He actually got blackmailed by Qian Zhen for half a year and never dare to say anything. It wasn’t until he was beaten that his family members noticed. Gu Decheng was angry that he stormed over to have a chat with Qian Zhen’s family. So, Qian Zhen got confined at home for a whole winter vacation. Right now, seeing Gu Ye coming to school, Qian Zhen felt a burst of fury. The anger that he saved up the entire winter vacation can now be vented on someone!

When the students in the class heard what Qian Zhen said, they all sympathized with Gu Ye. Qian Zhen really hated Gu Ye, and this time Gu Ye is really going to be miserable.

Gu Ye arrived at Class 6 classroom by following the vague memories he has. As soon as he entered the door, he got surrounded by several big young men. Gu Ye raised his eyebrows, but before he understood what they meant by this, a tall student grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out.

“Gu Ye, how dare you go back and complained to your family! Have you ever thought about how you will spend the second half of the year?”

Qian Zhen dragged Gu Ye into the toilet and fiercely pushed him against the wall. His figure is half a head taller than Gu Ye, making him look tough and scary. Qian Zhen’s underling who came in with him is also not short. With a thick body, he looks super fierce.

Gu Ye realized a bit late that he is being bullied by the school bully, and suddenly became happy.


Gu Ye: I’m so excited!

Raw word count: 2355

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Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 3

Chapter 3 I’ll Summom Grandpa’s Soul

President Gu didn’t even know how he brought his two sons home. He was so angry that he didn’t even have the energy to teach them a lesson. Sitting on the boss chair (executive leather chair), he looked at his sons with a tired face, and couldn’t say a word.

Gu Ye didn’t know what to say to persuade his father. He is afraid that if he couldn’t say it well, his old father would be angered to death. Gu Decheng is an old-fashioned and conservative person. He follows the rules and does things with a strict eye. He doesn’t believe in intangible stuff like metaphysics. Especially this original body used to fool around with metaphysics by himself, buying a bunch of materials on Taobao to do research. In this case, hoping the other party will believe that he can really calculate fortune is not very realistic either.

After staying silent for a full quarter of an hour, Gu Decheng took a deep breath. He looked at the calm Gu Ye with complicated eyes, and asked, “How do you know that my business is not going well recently?”

Gu Ye narrowed his eyes, “It certainly wasn’t like this when the house was first built. My grandpa must have asked an expert to plan the blueprint. The array at the main gate is the White Tiger Evil Suppressing Array, while the array inside the house is Azure Dragon Moon Protection Array. That’s how the Gu family has been going smoothly for the decade. It’s a pity that after Grandpa is gone, no one cares about these things. The guardian beast has no teeth, and the evil spirit invades. The eye of the array is destroyed, so the Feng Shui array has long lost its original function.”

[Banana: Read here for more info about the 4 mythical creatures of China – ]

Gu Ye spoke clearly and logically but to President Gu who couldn’t understand this, he just felt a headache. He thumped on the table and said, “Speak human language!”

Tsk, being uneducated is really scary.

Gu Ye explained helplessly, “Simply put, our family’s feng shui has been changed. Fortune leaked, evil spirits are attracted, and then people will even die.”

Papa Gu’s face turned cold. How can he casually say anything about death?

Gu Ye saw that his father’s expression is not right, so he hurried to remedy it, “There is really a problem with Feng Shui at home. My grandfather told me in a dream, and he said that it was not like this before.” Gu Ye desperately added, “I will summon his soul, you can find out by asking yourself.”

Gu Decheng looked at Gu Ye pinching his fingers, calculating something like it was real, and a burst of fury shot from his heart straight to his forehead. Gu Decheng touched around his table and grabbed something from the table with a cold face. He didn’t see what it was, and just wanted to smack Gu Ye’s butt, “You dare to use your grandfather as a shield! You unfilial son!”

Gu Ye saw that things are not looking good, so he ran away.

Gu Yang was originally squatting on the ground to accompany Gu Ye to be scolded, but when he saw his brother run away, he ran away too.

Before Papa Gu took 2 steps, his sons have already disappeared. Man, so angry.

Mrs. Gu nervously snatched the item in her husband’s hand and hugged it carefully in her arms. Then she boldly persuaded him to stop the beating, “Brother Cheng[1], just teach them if you have something to say, don’t hit the child.”

Papa slapped the table angrily, “A benevolent mother who spoils her children will have bad children! How dare you protect them! I haven’t settled with you for covering them!”

Shuddering, Mrs. Gu is so frightened that she felt like crying. She only thought that this jade ruler[2] is worth a million dollars so it would be a pity if it got smashed. This is all money ah.

Gu Ye glanced back and found that Mrs. Gu is being reprimanded so he stopped running. Then, he shouted aggrievedly, “Mom, save me!”

Hearing that, Papa Gu glared at Mrs. Gu angrily, “You still dared to say that you haven’t spoiled him? He’s 19 now! Looking for his mother whenever he wanted something, doesn’t he feel ashamed?!”

Mrs. Gu, who is shouldering the blame full force, is about to cry. Gu Ye, you little bastard!

Gu Decheng believed that Gu Ye is afraid of being beaten, so he deliberately used his grandfather who had been dead for many years as a shield. Unexpectedly, he had a dream that night, which directly changed all his perceptions.

The next morning, Gu Decheng got up early and came to the entrance of the villa. He carefully looked at the teeth of the stone lion on the right side of the gate. Because of the perennial wind and sun, there is a crack in the stone lion’s mouth. The two teeth closest to the inside are gone but it doesn’t look like it was destroyed by nature, more like it got chiseled away. Next, Gu Decheng went to the garden. He suddenly found that his home had really changed a lot. He had been busy with work and hadn’t had a good rest at home for a long time.

His eldest son is busy opening up foreign markets and has developed well, so he won’t come back to take over the company for the time being. Old Second opened an entertainment company before he even graduate, and his development is getting better and better, so this second child can’t take over his company for the time being either. As for Old Third and Old Fourth… President Gu palmed his forehead. It seems that he will be continuing working for a few more years.

After wandering around the house, President Gu asked the gardener who was pruning crabapple flowers, “When was this fountain remodeled?”

The gardener answered respectfully, “Replying to master, it was 3 months ago. A part of this fountain is broken, so Madam invited the construction team to change the fountain and renovated it.”

“When was this white elephant placed here?”

“It was also 3 months ago. Madam thought it was beautiful and since this place looked empty, she ordered someone put it here.”

Gu Ye walked up behind his father with his hands behind his back, and asked in a low voice, “Did my grandpa have a chat with you last night?”

Gu Decheng’s face paled. Last night, he did dream about his old father who had been dead for more than 10 years, and they didn’t get along very well.

Gu Ye smiled, “The structure of the Gu family house is obviously set up by someone with real skills where the arrays are linked to each other. The stone lions at the gate are meant to suppress evil because the villa is too big and our family is small. Originally, a small family is not suitable to buy a big house due to the lack of human aura to fill the space. In order to prevent restlessness in the house, the Feng Shui master set up a white tiger array at the gate. The stone lions are the eyes of the array so there must be something wrong with the lions now.”

Gu Ye then pointed to the white elephant, “The white elephant is indeed a lucky item, but it is also a ferocious beast. The Azure Dragon Moon Protection Array is supposed to preserve wealth and provide protection. But this fountain, which was used as the eye of the array, has been replaced. Then adding with such a beast at home, if it weren’t for Gu family’s good fortune, something bad would have already happened.”

Gu Ye looked at his father’s face who looked like his 3 views are reshaped and still looks like he hasn’t recovered from the blow. He said with a smile, “Actually, I suspect that someone wants to harm the Gu family. Otherwise, the feng shui array couldn’t be broken so quickly.”

Gu Decheng said with a darkened face, “Is this what your grandfather told you as well?”

Gu Ye pinched his fingers solemnly, “Let me summon my grandpa’s soul again.”

Gu Decheng is instantly angered by Gu Ye. Relatively speaking, this third son has changed too much. He who couldn’t do anything productive previously, only knows to say ‘En’ to everything, and often shuts himself in the room to study some Feng Shui stuff. He wouldn’t even dare to tell his parents when he got beaten up by hoodlums. Looking at his third son again now, Gu Decheng tried to persuade himself that at least this child knew to hide when someone wants to beat him, which is considered a good thing.

Gu Ye walked around the white elephant statue and said, “Uncle Li, go get me a hammer.”

Gu Decheng also followed behind, “Is there something wrong with this white elephant?”

“You will know after looking at it.”

Gu Ye took the hammer from the gardener and blocked in front of Gu Decheng before smashing the hammer into the white elephant’s stomach. The hollow white elephant statue shattered into several pieces. From the belly of the white elephant, a talisman with scribbly writing floated out, and Gu Decheng’s face turned cold right away. The facts are in front of him, and he had to believe them.

When Mrs. Gu heard the noise, she hurried out to have a look. When she saw that Gu Ye had smashed the white elephant statue that her friend had given her, she wanted to burst out in anger. But then, she saw something floating out of the white elephant’s belly. The yellow talisman paper is a bit old, and the vermilion cinnabar writing is twisted and curly, like coagulated blood. Mrs. Gu felt a wave of viciousness for no reason. Though she is under the sun, she is covered with goosebumps from the chill.

Mrs. Gu stepped back a few steps immediately, and asked with disgust, “What is this thing? Why does it look so evil?”

Gu Ye held the talisman, “Mom, who gave you this thing?”

“It’s from Hu Yu, Li Shengkai’s wife.”

Gu Decheng said angrily, “Didn’t I tell you not to have anything to do with his family? Li Shengkai’s family history is not clean.”

Mrs. Gu lowered her head aggrievedly. She also knew now that she had been cheated, “I thought his wife is not bad.”

In the wealthy wife circle in the capital, Mrs. Gu is actually not very popular, and it’s not because she has done anything bad. It’s because the real rich and powerful women look down on her as a little wife (2nd wife). She was not born into a wealthy family, and her birth family has no background. Moreover, Mrs. Gu is young and good-looking, and she dresses up beautifully every day. No matter how one looked at this, Gu Decheng is already 60 years old this year while she is 17 years younger than Gu Decheng. Because of this, the eldest and second child don’t go home often to prevent any scandals with the stepmother. Others always think that she dressed up so flamboyantly because she has other thoughts (to court better guys), and has the impression that Gu Decheng’s forehead is always green (from getting NTR-ed). In short, the rich and noble ladies don’t bother to get together with Mrs. Gu. On the other hand, Li Shengkai’s wife, Hu Yu, doesn’t have so many taboos and calls Mrs. Gu to everything she does. Over time, Mrs. Gu treats her as a friend.

Hearing that, Gu Ye is speechless. She might treat others as friends, but they may not be sincere with her back. This underhanded method is not only meant to steal business but also to take their whole family’s life. Gu Ye drew something on the back of the talisman. Seemed to come alive, the talisman twisted and trembled a few times, and then its color turned to khaki. After that, it fell motionless, as if dead.

Gu Ye handed the talisman to his father, “Evil Beckoning talisman, you can know what it means just by listening to the name.”

Mrs. Gu also become scared, and her little face turned pale. Next,  she became annoyed, and stomped her feet fiercely, “Fcck it! This little bitch!”

Gu Decheng originally wanted to scold his wife a bit more, but before he could speak, he got amused by his wife’s furious action, and his anger dispersed, “Okay, don’t talk about this matter outside, I will deal with it. As for the rest,” Papa Gu threw a glance at Gu Ye, “Do as you see fit. But first thing first, it’s better to play with these things less and study hard!”

“Alright, Dad ~ I love you, Dad ~” Gu Ye smiled and made a salute gesture.

Hearing that, Gu Decheng staggered. The corners of his mouth curved up slightly but only for half a second before immediately pressed down. Gu Decheng regained his seriousness and walked away with a solemn face.

Upon arriving at the company, Gu Decheng called his secretary, pointed to the map, and asked, “Does Li Shengkai want this piece of land?”

“Yes, President Gu, he meant to build a commercial street.”

Gu Decheng said in a deep voice, “Okay then, I want this land. Go out and use some relationships to get it. Also, regarding the so-called Golden Street he has been planning, find someone to inquire about it.”

The secretary asked tentatively, “What does President Gu mean by this?”

“I want his whole family to be unable to afford even porridge.”

Gu Decheng glanced at the plan of the area and suddenly remembered that when the land next to the government building was auctioned that day, his wife and Hu Yu had dinner and went home together. But they met with an accident on the road, so he rushed to the hospital to check on her. When he rushed back to the auction, he was one step late, and the good land fell into the hands of Li Shengkai. From this point of view, Gu Decheng thinks that the accident should have been planned by the other party. Gu Decheng’s expression turned colder. This time, it’s all thanks to Old Third.

At this moment, the third young master is ordering people to change their Feng Shui at home. Then, Mrs. Gu, who was dressed up beautifully, came out wearing a little red dress and carrying a satchel.

Gu Yang shivered from looking at her appearance, “Mom, aren’t you cold?”

Mrs. Gu sneered, and said proudly, “It’s not cold! Mom is going out for a while. You two, pack up your things, school starts tomorrow, understand?”

“Understood!” Gu Ye also nodded obediently. He had a feeling that Mrs. Gu is emitting a murderous aura now.

But Gu Ye read that right because Mrs. Gu made an appointment with Hu Yu today. Hu Yu is also in her forties and comes from a wealthy family. It’s a pity that she has only been married for a few years when her father’s family fell in ruins. Now her daily life is just caring for her husband and teaching her child. In her free time, she’ll just go for facial care or play mahjong with friends. She maintained her appearance quite well too. If Hu Yu’s temperament is like an orchid in a lone valley, then Mrs. Gu is a flaming rose.

The two met at the coffee shop they frequented. Looking at Mrs. Gu’s outfit, Hu Yu smiled slightly, covering the disdain in her eyes. Then she asked with a smile, “Why did you ask me out today?”

“I got so angry at home!” Mrs. Gu took a long breath of relief after sitting down, “This Old Third, he bought some books on Bagua research again. As if he could self-learn and open his yin yang eyes, then pass exams with flying colors.”

Hu Yu covered her lips and chuckled, “It’s really hard for you. Your Old Third is really… sigh,” Hu Yu shook her head. After that, she looked at Mrs. Gu sympathetically, and whispered, “If I were you, I would want to strangle him to death, it’s really tiring.”

A hint of anger flashed in Mrs. Gu’s eyes. The corners of her mouth were pursed but she still followed the flow of the conversation calmly and said, “I know right? We are not biological after all, so I can’t beat or scold him.”

Hu Yu looked around before carefully approaching Mrs. Gu, and whispered, “I say, your own son has grown up now. You haven’t thought for his behalf yet?”

Mrs. Gu looked taken aback, pretending to be puzzled, “What do you mean?”

“Are you stupid?!” Hu Yu looked worried for Mrs. Gu and said with a tone that she is being considerate of her friend, “Gu Yang is only 16 this year but your old man is already 60. If something happened to him one day, the family property will be split into 4 shares. You knew how the eldest and second sons are, right? With them there, how much of the shares do you think both you mother and son could get? In my opinion, Old Third only does stupid things every day, so why not just…” Hu Yu winked at Mrs. Gu, “This way, there will be one less competitor, what do you say… AHH!!”

Before Hu Yu finished speaking, Mrs. Gu stood up and grabbed Hu Yu’s hair. Next, she slapped Hu Yu fiercely with the other hand, stunning Hu Yu with a single slap, “No matter how bad he is, I raised him from when he was a baby! I’m a stepmother, that’s right. You can say that I’m biased and I admit it. But I have raised him for 18 years. He just needs to call me mom and he will be my son! You heartless little bitch, how dare you to instigate me to kill my son! You fccking wanna die?!”

There’s a saying that the main/first wife is dignified while the second wife is arrogant. When Gu Decheng fell in love with Mrs. Gu, it was due to her spicy temper. She can be coquettish but can also handle things. As for the kind of girls that could simply fall down by a breeze, don’t say managing the household, and take care of the children, those kinds can’t even take care of themselves. Hu Yu was brought up as a lady. From when she was a child, she has never seen such a ferocious lady before so there is no room for resistance at all. She got slapped several times by Mrs. Gu and was scratched as well.

The waiters in the store were terrified. By the time they realized that Hu Yu had been beaten, her make-up is already ruined and her hairstyle is messed up. On her neck was a long bloody scratch mark, and she is crying like a mess.

Mrs. Gu snorted proudly. She pursed her red lips and spat at Hu Yu in disgust, “Pei!” After that, she turned her slender waist and walked away in her high heels. She asked Hu Yu out today just to beat her up, nothing else. Her husband Old Gu obviously looked like he wants to do something big, and this revenge must be slowly and thoroughly avenged. However, she couldn’t swallow this grievance just like this. She didn’t expect this woman to be so compliant. She only needs to show an opening and this woman dares to say anything, giving her a readily available reason to beat her up. Mrs. Gu wiped her hands and took out a recorder from her bag. The corner of the mouth curved up. This woman looks down on her too much, do Hu Yu think that she’s really just big-chested and brainless (bimbo)?

Mrs. Gu uploaded the recording to her social media among her circle of friends, threatening: Hu Yu you little bitch, I’ll beat you every time I see you!

Soon, the news that Mrs. Gu beat Hu Yu spread in the circle of wealthy people. The reason why Hu Yu was beaten soon spread among them too. Quite a few noble ladies looked at Mrs. Gu with admiration. Although beating people with her hands and swearing is very undignified, they have to say, that’s a good beating. Hu Yu’s reputation as a poisonous woman spread quickly and countless ladies avoided her.

Gu Decheng wanted to deal with Li Shengkai but couldn’t find any good reason. He can’t really say ‘It’s because you sent a talisman to my house and cursed my whole family’, right? The Gu family has a big business, while Li Shengkai’s company is smaller. If the Gu family goes against Li Shengkai everywhere, to the point of trampling him to death, he needs a reason. Without a suitable reason, other small companies will inevitably feel uneasy; afraid of the Gu family.

Hence, Mrs. Gu’s slaps happened to give the reason to Gu Decheng. Instigating his wife to kill his son? That’s a huge hatred!

Li Shengkai is in a panic. After taking Hu Yu home, when seeing his wife in such a mess, not only he did not feel distressed, he slapped Hu Yu severely, “You stupid woman! The Li family will be brought to ruins by your hands!”

Thinking about the grievances she suffered today, Hu Yu covered her face and burst into tears without caring for her image.

Annoyed by the sound of crying, Li Shengkai shouted angrily, “Stop crying!” His gaze turned cold, and a stern cold light flashed in his eyes, “Go find that master again, I will make Gu Decheng’s whole family destitute and homeless!”


Papa Gu: My son makes me feel that my face hurts!
Little stepmother: I make other people’s face hurt!

Raw word count: 4779

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Banana: Dem word count for this chapter _(;3/

[1] This is one of the endearment term to refer to one’s husband. Korean do that too, the females call their BF/husband ‘Oppa/Brother’
[2] Not sure if it’s a typo or something because having a ruler made of jade seems weird. I’m thinking it’s more like a jade scepter.

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Can’t take this son anymore

Mrs. Gu is really angry. The hell is ‘better than Eldest Son and Old Second’?! At this age, the eldest and the second son brought home various certificates of honor, trophies, and scholarships. What about Old Third? He brought back pennants with a lot of words of thanks!

“Little Immortal has descended to earth, pinching his fingers and saving my family with a calculation! Wang Tiezhu of Lao Wang Village here kneels down and gives thanks!”

“Serving the people with the utmost care, dispelling worries for the people with passion as deep as the sea. Thank you to Mr. Gu for curing my 18-year ghost shaved head (alopecia)! Thank you – Li Erqian from Li Village!”

“Serve the people and build integrity together, let’s build a better society together! Thank you to Master Gu for finding my grandfather’s old grave for me! Thank you from Liu Fugui from Liu Family Store!”

“Accidents are merciless but humans are with feelings, helping others to show their true feelings. Thanks to Little Immortal who pointed out straightforwardly, helping to find a good match for my good daughter-in-law who has been widowed for many years!”

The two brothers moved swiftly, and soon they took off the pennants from the whole wall. They swiftly rolled them up and stuffed them into their school bag, and Mrs. Gu couldn’t stop them in time.

The Gu family is doing the real estate business. Gu Decheng is also a well-known person in the domestic business circle, and he is best known as a real estate tycoon. There is an exaggerated statement on the Internet that if you pick 10 buildings in Huaxia, 3 of them will be built by the Gu Group. Because he is rich, many netizens joked that Gu Decheng is their Papa Gu, and the house they bought to get married will be built by their Papa Gu. It’s just that those building needs a lot of money to buy, very expensive!

Mr. Gu Decheng, who is now 60 years old has a lifetime of glory and has never frowned when facing ups and downs in life. The only thing that gives him a headache is Gu Ye, his stupid son who can’t let people feel at ease. Now, this stupid son not only didn’t reflect on his mistakes, but instead, he used feudal superstition to deceive fellow villagers back in his hometown. After seeing the pennants Gu Ye took home that occupied half of the car trunk, Mr. Gu angrily grabbed the golf club leaning at the base of the wall, “If I don’t break your leg today, I’ll take your last name!”

Gu Ye jumped up high, and felt amused after dodging his father’s golf club, “Dad, you have the same last name as me to start with!”

Gu Decheng choked on his breath and opened his mouth speechlessly because of this sentence. He couldn’t find a reason to refute, and became even more annoyed, “How dare you talk back!”

Mrs. Gu was secretly laughing on the sidelines, but her mouth anxiously said, “Old Third, hurry up and admit your mistake to your father. Just staying in the countryside for a few days, you dare to talk back? Do you want to anger your father to death?”

It was fine until Mrs. Gu mentioned it. Gu Decheng became even angrier when she talked about it, “What kind of rotten things have you learned? I don’t expect you to be as successful as your two brothers, and make you do something big. You just have to get into a second-rate university and learn some proper skills after graduation. But what you did do? Deceiving people with feudal superstition! How dare you talk back to your parents!”

Gu Decheng became angrier and chased after Gu Ye with a golf club. It’s a pity that Gu Ye has nimble limbs, stepping on the table and running away. Even though Gu Decheng is in good health, he is already in his 60s so he can’t keep up with the 19 years old Gu Ye.

“How dare you run away!” But Gu Decheng was surprised inside. Old Third’s mind can think properly now? He knows to run and hide now?

Gu Ye doesn’t whether to laugh or cry, “If I don’t run away, you will lose a son!”

Gu Decheng almost laughed out angrily at this sentence. Suppressing his anger, he asked with a tone of disappointment that Gu Ye couldn’t live up to expectation, “You being like this, can’t carry anything on your shoulders nor lift anything with your hands (can’t do manual labor). You can’t even pick up trash in the future. Are you planning to rely on fortune-telling to fool people for a living?”

Gu Ye nodded obediently, “That’s right.”

Gu Decheng immediately felt his blood pressure soar. He can’t take this son anymore, should just beat him to death!

Gu Ye felt helpless, he was already being honest, so why is his father still want to beat him? Are all fathers so unreasonable? While dodging, he calculated his father’s fortune, “You’ve been so irritable lately, is it business not doing well recently? It’s all because of bad feng shui at home. The stone lion that just arrived home[1] also has a problem, causing money to leak! It’s better if you quickly change it as soon as possible. Otherwise, within 3 days, you’re about to lose a lot of money.”

Gu Ye just wanted to tell his father with the facts: I really know how to calculate fortune, I didn’t lie!

The son is using feudal superstition even on his father now, which caused Gu Decheng’s face to turn red with anger. Seeing that he is about to swing the golf club again, Gu Yang, who came out of the kitchen with an egg pancake, rushed over in horror and hugged his arm, “Dad! Are you going to beat my brother to death?!”

“I’m going to beat him to death today. I’ll just imagine I never had this son!”

“Dad! Even the tiger won’t eat its cub! If you want to beat him, hit me instead. I am strong!”

“You are also a failure! How could you have the face to come back after scoring just 50 points in the year-end exam?!”

Mrs. Gu saw that even her own son would be beaten, and can’t watch the excitement at the side anymore. She hurried over and stopped her husband before giving the brothers a wink, hinting to them to run quickly. Taking advantage of Gu Decheng calming down his breathing, Mrs. Gu dragged her husband back to the bedroom. She gently massaged his head and said, “You too, they are both your biological son, how can you really beat them to death? Don’t you feel bad for hitting them? It’s fine to just scare them a bit. The good thing is that Old Third speaks fluently now and his personality is not so wooden anymore. We should be happy.”

“Happy? He talked back to me, and I still need to be happy?” Gu Decheng threw the golf club away angrily. Just now he was holding it high and swung down. The thumping sound seems scary, but in fact, each swing only hits the table and the shock caused his hand to hurt instead.

A benevolent mother who spoils her children will have bad children, it’s all because you pampered them!” Mr. Gu concluded seriously at the end.

Mrs. Gu is suffering in her heart and cannot tell the truth. In her heart, she wanted to ask when she ever pampered Gu Ye. But she couldn’t refute it blatantly. She can’t say that she is not really being kind to Gu Ye. Raising two children will always result in one being closer than the other. But the eldest and second child who were raised by the previous madam are excellent young men, while Old Third and Old Fourth she raised failed their exams. Thinking about it this way, it seems like it is really her fault.

After returning to his room, Gu Ye stared at the evil aura flitting all over the yard. In his heart, he wondered what are the chances that his father won’t beat him up if he demolished the house to change the feng shui. After thinking about it, he palmed his forehead. Having a father is really tiring!

The next morning, while having breakfast, Gu Decheng asked angrily, “Where are those two useless ones? Why don’t they come down to eat? “

The uncle driver who was already waiting at the door opened his mouth and just about to speak, Mrs. Gu immediately answered, “They went to cram school and left in the morning. The children also know to keep up with their studies.”

The driver hesitated, wanting to speak, but after receiving a hint from Madam Gu, he closed his mouth helplessly. Madam pampered the children too much. This kind of thing also wants to cover for them?

In fact, Mrs. Gu has no choice. If Gu Decheng finds out where the two children actually went, he will also beat Gu Yang up. Gu Ye went to do bad things but drags his brother along, she can’t not help to cover.

After Gu Decheng is full, he proceeds to head directly to the company. At the car, the driver looked at him hesitantly. After thinking for a while, the driver took out a paper envelope from his pocket and handed it over, “Third Young Master gave it to you. Hope you’ll… stay safe.”

Gu Decheng took the envelope and opened it. Then he said angrily, “That hopeless child!”

Inside is a talisman that looks like random scribbles!

President Gu gripped the spell in his palm angrily. Crushing it into a ball, he is just about to throw the talisman away when a phone call came. Gu Decheng subconsciously took out his mobile phone and the ball of talisman in his hand accidentally fell into his pocket.

Upon arriving at the company, Gu Decheng’s secretary came to report, “President Gu, I just gotten the news. We previously wanted the right to build the stadium for the Winter Games, but now something happened so the results might change.”

Gu Decheng frowned, the decision was almost certain, what happened in the middle? Something similar happened the other day too. The piece of land in the north of the city was supposed to be sold to him, but now the seller wanted to discuss it again. Gu Decheng held his forehead tiredly. Things haven’t been going well lately and the two little ones in the family are not reassuring either.

Unexpectedly, something that gives even more headache for Gu Decheng happened. Not long after, his secretary came to report with a sullen face, “President Gu, something happened in the commercial street. Someone is going to jump off a building!”

Gu Decheng stood up with a cold face. He is really puzzled, why do all the suicidal jumpers decide to jump on this street? Old Third talks nonsense every day, but this sentence of his really guessed correctly. Just yesterday, Old Third that he is going to lose a lot of money and something like this happened today. Most businessmen are concerned about Feng Shui issues so with things getting more inauspicious, the shops in that street are definitely going to be harder to sell out. It cost a lot of money to build buildings on such a large piece of land where every inch of land is expensive. If he can’t sell them now, his company’s cash flow will be a problem.

An hour later, Gu Decheng finally arrived at the commercial street. However, he was still one step too late as that person had already jumped.

Many spectators around whispered, “Is this the 3rd time already this month? This street is so evil. It is said that accidents started 3 months ago and it will occur 3 times every month.”

“It’s so strange. Could it be that the developer did something abominable? Hence some evil spirit came back for revenge?”

“Who knows? Such a big street, who knows what happened when it was built.”

Gu Decheng’s secretary doesn’t have a good expression on his face. He persuaded in a low voice, “President Gu, why don’t we find a Feng Shui master to have a look? It’s kind of sinister.”

“What Feng Shui master?! Nonsense!”

Gu Decheng can’t stand the word ‘master’ now. As soon as he heard the word, he will think of the pennants brought back by his 3rd son and just want to beat the child up violently.

At this moment, someone shouted anxiously, “Be careful!”

Gu Decheng felt a vile wind by the back of his head and his heart went cold. Turning around nervously, he saw an out-of-control truck crashing head-on. The people around suddenly screamed in fright. Gu Decheng’s pupils shrank, and he took a step back reflexively. Unexpectedly, his back is pressed against the railing on the side of the road, and he has nowhere to escape. Gu Decheng felt a chill in his heart, and there is only one sentence in his mind: It’s over! My life ends here today.

Just when everyone thought it would be another tragedy, the truck made a sudden right turn, flying past in front of Gu Decheng.

There is silence for a few seconds, then the onlookers finally came to their senses and came over to Gu Decheng.

“That was dangerous! But you survive a catastrophe, so you will be blessed!”

“God has eyes, it was almost another tragedy!”

Gu Decheng touched his pocket in shock. When the truck almost hits him, he felt hot in his pockets and the truck immediately changed direction. He took it out and looked, it was the charm that Gu Ye gave him. Right now, the spell has been burned, and only one-third of it is left. Gu Decheng suddenly thought of those words Gu Ye said. Thinking carefully, he realized that all his words have came true. President Gu’s heart is finally shaken. Could it be that little brat really knows how to calculate fortune?

Back to the car, Gu Decheng took more than half an hour to calm down. Then, he asked the driver, “Where is Old Third?”

The uncle driver faltered, “Madam said…”

“I’m asking you!”

Seeing Mrs. Gu’s expression in the morning, Gu Decheng knew that those two little ones are up to no good. After some questioning, Gu Decheng calmly went to the place where Gu Ye and Gu Yang went for their ‘extra lessons’. He has decided, no matter what Old Third is doing, he will talk to him calmly.

President Gu found his two sons under an inconspicuous overpass. His 3rd son, Gu Ye, is sitting calmly on a foldable stool. A white sackcloth is spread before him with many charms placed on it. Behind him stood a white cloth banner where there are 2 Chinese characters written in flamboyant style: Fortune-telling (算卦)!

Turning to look at the person beside Gu Ye, President Gu almost choke on his anger. His fairly normal youngest son is now wearing a Taoist robe with a picture of a Bagua (Eight Diagrams) printed on the chest and also wearing sunglasses. He is holding a big sign in his hand, and a little monk in a cassock can be seen drawn on it.

There is a row of words written around the drawing:
Ancestral exorcism
Evil exorcism
Professional consultation on YinYang and Fengshui
Help to break bad 5 elements and Bagua
Picking names according to personal 5 elements
Literomancy
Cutting off the future (from bad things?)
Free treatment for children who suffered fright from external force, loss of soul (lost their mind), and witless
The price of grave digging be doubled~ muaks

At that moment, President Gu put down the idea of ‘having a calm talk’ and pulled out another golf club from under the seat.

Gu Ye: I really know how to calculate fortune.

Papa Gu touch golf stick.jpg

Raw word count: 3410

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[1] 刚进家门的那个狮子也有问题 – Not sure if the author got it wrong or typo, because the stone lions should be here for a long time since it was set up together with the protection array during grandpa’s time [in Chapter 3].

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Let me calculate, you got c_u_cked (cheated by your partner)

Just after the Chinese New Year, Anxian Town, located in the northwest of H City, held a temple fair as in previous years. The past few days have been more lively than usual, because a young immortal has come to the town. He could calculate anything, really godly. It wasn’t until after 9.00 am that a young man about 18 or 19 years old came to a stall. He took out a cloth banner from his pocket with the word ‘Fortune-telling’ written on it and placed it on the table. Then he sipped slowly from a cup of milk tea.

The young man has a handsome face. He has beautiful peach blossom eyes with long eyelashes and fair skin. His pupils are a deeper shade than normal people, black and bright.

As soon as he came to his stall, the people who were wandering around immediately surrounded him and formed a long line.

“Little Immortal, please calculate something for me, anything is fine.” A big guy with muscular arms, thick eyebrows, and big eyes immediately asked with a fawning tone before Gu Ye could sit down.

Gu Ye waved his hand, “Go away, go away, your family is harmonious and in good health, what’s there to calculate?”

When the big guy heard this, he left happily, as if he had come across a big bargain.

“Tsk!” Just then in the line, a young man wearing a famous brand who stood out from the crowd uttered a tsk. His handsome face is full of disgust, and he looked at that big guy as if he was looking at an idiot. Believing that kind of words, have these villagers gone mad?!

An old man in front of this person heard his disdain and turned around to persuade him, “Young man, don’t doubt it. This little immortal is the most famous master ‘within 10 miles around and 8 villages’.”

At this moment, Gu Ye just raised his head. He saw the man’s face at a glance and then turned to look at the girl beside him. The corner of his mouth twitched, and he smiled at the man. To be a scum at that level, he is really something.

Only then did the man has the time to see Gu Ye’s appearance clearly, and immediately got his breath caught by Gu Ye’s smiling face. The man is interested in both males and females, and his original intention for coming to such a lousy place is just to flirt with girls. He didn’t expect that in this shabby place, there is a young man even more beautiful than this girl beside him. Seeing that this little liar is not very old, Luo Junkun immediately had an idea. Since he can’t sleep with this girl here, it’s not bad to play with this little guy instead.

Gu Ye could see what this man was thinking at a glance and is immediately amused by it. To this body he was reborn into, this bastard might not be able to afford it even with his whole fortune. The Gu family in the capital is a well-known wealthy family all over the country. Gu Ye’s original body here is a genuine young master. Just that the reason he is here in this countryside is because his father sent him over to reflect on his mistakes.

After several people got chased away (due to no need for calculation), it is finally the couple’s turn. The girl who was holding the man’s arm is overjoyed and asked, “Little Immortal, help me calculate when will we get married and be together till old age?”

Gu Ye picked up the milk tea on the table and took a sip slowly. Then, he took out a WeChat QR code from his pocket and handed it over without any courtesy.

The man glanced at the QR code, and his eyes fell on Gu Ye’s face again. This nose, this pair of eyes, tsk tsk. While transferring the money, he approached with a smile, “Little mister, can I add your WeChat account as friends? When we want to check the Feng Shui of our new house someday, I will find you again.”

Gu Ye looked at the transfer amount on his WeChat, 50,000 RMB.

As soon as Gu Ye raised his head, the other party raised an eyebrow at him implying. The girl next to the man couldn’t restrain herself. She tugged at her boyfriend’s sleeve, and asked anxiously, “Junkun, why did you pay so much money?”

Luo Junkun said dotingly, “It’s okay, I’m willing to spend any amount of money for my baby.”

When the girl heard this, she looked at her boyfriend affectionately and blushed.

Gu Ye is amused and said, “Girl, you are ‘so green that you are turning into a seaweed’ (has been cu.cked/cheated). Kick this bastard out of here quickly, lest he harms a good girl’s life.”

With this sentence, it’s like a basin of cold water got poured onto the affectionate couple.

“What are you saying?!” Luo Junkun immediately got impatient. How could he say that after taking his money?

The girl’s expression is also not good. She frowned and asked while suppressing her temper, “Master, did you read it wrong? You didn’t read our palms nor check any written characters(Literomancy), why did you say that my boyfriend is not good?”

Gu Ye’s tone is unhurried as he said, “It can be seen from his face that he is a typical mean-hearted person who brings misfortune to his wife and children. His eyebrows are too short, and they are messy and unkept, he must be at odds with his peers at home. He is not filial either, have you ever heard of the word NEET or ‘mooching off parents’? Moreover, he has the typical 3-short-3-long fate and the point between his eyebrows is turning green. There are already signs of his soul leaving. If he doesn’t start doing good deeds from now on, and also purify those aborted children of his, he definitely won’t live past the age of 36.

The point between eyebrows

After Gu Ye finished speaking, he waved his hands at the couple, signaling for the next customer to come forward.

The man’s complexion turned uglier. On this cold day, cold sweat actually broke out on his forehead. This fortune teller is absolutely right!

However, the girl looked at Gu Ye, her eyes are already full of anger, “You liar! Cheater! Refund our money!”

Gu Ye shook his head. People in the world want to hear good things about fortune-telling, but as the saying goes, nine out of ten things are imperfect. How can there be so many smooth sailings in the world?

“Within 3 steps from walking out here, you will receive the news that someone is pregnant with your boyfriend’s last child. If this child also gets aborted, he will really die childless.”

The girl pulled her boyfriend to come forward to argue but unexpectedly, she just took 2 steps and she heard a ding from her boyfriend’s cell phone. Even if she doesn’t believe it, after Gu Ye said so much, the girl also felt a little uncomfortable. Hence, hearing the sound of a message from her boyfriend’s mobile phone at this moment,  she naturally turned to look at it with great concern. Unexpectedly, just at this glance, the girl’s expression changed.

The message was: [Brother Kun, I am pregnant with your child, are you happy?]

The man looked at Gu Ye as if he had seen a ghost. This fortune teller is so accurate that it’s creepy.

“Luo Junkun! You bastard!” The girl reacted, slapped the man’s face hard, and cried angrily.

Luo Junkun is still in a daze so he didn’t react when he got slapped. This fortune teller is right even about this kind of thing, so the part he said just now that he wouldn’t live past the age of 36, is it really true? He is already 28 this year!

Following the girl’s slap, a handful of young men rushed over into the crowd. These people are the girl’s brother and cousins. The countryside is a place where almost everyone is relatives. Seeing that their sister got cheated by a bastard, they came forward to beat up the scumbag.

During the chaos, Gu Ye stood up and started packing his things. Someone saw him wanting to go and stopped him quickly, “Little Immortal, don’t go yet. It’s still early, let’s do a few more calculations.”

Gu Ye smiled and shook his head, “I can’t. The person who is picking me up has already arrived. Just now was my last calculation here in this place. I’m going home.”

At this moment, a luxurious business car stopped on the side of the road, and an unusually pretty woman in a little red jacket and a boy around 15 or 16 years old got out of it. When Mrs. Gu saw Gu Ye’s situation, her head buzzed from the anger. Not only did this 3rd child not repent in the countryside, but he even dared to engage in feudal superstition to deceive people!

The 3rd child of their family is the shame of the high society, being wimpy and stupid. His father spent a lot of money to put him in a prestigious high school and also hired tutors at home. He is already in his 3rd year at high school this year. But he still managed to come back home with the lowest score in exams. Other than that, he also got blackmailed by a group of hooligans for half a year without daring to speak out. Last year, he didn’t study during the holidays and just stayed at home, studying some Feng Shui and numerology. The child even dares to set up a Bagua array in his bedroom as if he will pass his exam after this. This caused his father’s blood pressure to rise so he got someone to send the child to his hometown in the countryside. His father wanted him to study to make up for his lessons, and reflect on himself. He doesn’t even want to see the child during the Chinese New Year.

“Gu Ye! You even dare to lie to the folks here! See how your dad will scold you!” Mrs. Gu lowered her voice, angrily rolling up the piece of canvas on Gu Ye’s table. Then she quickly stuffed it into Gu Ye’s pocket, for fear of being a moment too late, Gu Ye’s lies will be exposed in a second, and people will come to their door to settle the score.

Gu Ye looked innocent as he said, “If he beats me to death, you will lose a son. And at such an old age, you will not be able to have another son anymore.”

Gu Ye really didn’t wrong his stepmother with that sentence. Mrs. Gu is of ordinary background but to be able to become Mrs. Gu, she is not someone without schemes. But there is no big treachery and evil deeds, it’s just that poverty has made her greedy for money so she only has petty schemes. Especially after having a child of her own, she has more ideas. However, she did raise this body he is currently residing from young after all, so she couldn’t bear to harm this body. And so, Mrs. Gu’s usual trick is to use the stupid and disobedient 3rd child to set off her son’s cleverness and obedience. She would say stuff during pillow talk at night, causing this body to be often spanked by his father.

Hearing the child’s words, Mrs. Gu got taken aback. Only then did she realize that Gu Ye had changed a lot. How did the little stammering child change to speaking so fluently? His gaze is also bright, he is not dazed anymore? After realizing the meaning of Gu Ye’s words, Mrs. Gu’s face turned red with anger. Who is too old to have children?!

Gu Ye rummaged in his pocket and took out some small change left over from buying milk tea. There is also a 50-cent coin. He gave it all to Mrs. Gu and said with a tone of filial piety, “I, your son, have made money. Later, I will go back and buy a chicken to nurture your health.”

Madam Gu stomped her feet angrily while clutching the few dollars.

Gu Ye looked at the young man next to Mrs. Gu again. Immediately, his eyes curved with a smile. He hooked his finger to the child, “Old Fourth, come here!”

The original owner of this body has lost a part of his soul since he was a child. So he became wooden and stupid, and no one wants to play with him. But not only this younger brother does not disdain him, but he has also been following behind him all the time. Whenever he called for the child, the child will run over to him. Maybe it is the memory of the original owner causing this but when Gu Ye saw this child, he had a kind of familiar feeling.

Gu Yang heard his 3rd brother calling, and ran over happily like a big Alaskan Malamute, “Brother, you really know about fortune-telling? Why are you so different now?”

Gu Ye touched Gu Yang’s head with a smile, and said meaningfully, “That’s right, your brother has gotten an expert Master as a teacher. So, you don’t go to school anymore and should follow your brother to set up a stall under an overpass. Your brother will take you to make a fortune and reach the pinnacle of life in minutes!”

The original body’s biological mother bled profusely when giving birth to him. The rescue failed, and she died during delivery. It was really inconvenient for Mr. Gu to take care of his business and 3 children, so he married the current Mrs. Gu. 3 years later, Gu Yang is born. In this family, Gu Yang’s status is kind of embarrassing. Mrs. Gu started to plan for her son’s future, but this silly child doesn’t know how to plan for himself. All day long, he only knows to play and eat, foolishly living. He can’t study well and only runs after his brother every day. But he unexpectedly has a good relationship with all 3 brothers.

Gu Ye looked at Gu Yang’s face. This child is a typical ‘fool with a blessing’. Though he can’t learn anything properly, he still can live a lifetime of wealth and prosperity by simply following behind his brothers, living off dividends given to him. Hence, Gu Ye once told him, “Young man, you don’t need to study. Learning or stuff like this is not suitable for you.”

Back to the current situation, Gu Yang unexpectedly believed Gu Ye’s words immediately, and nodded with interest, “Okay, okay! When are we going (to an underpass)? Let’s go tomorrow! Shall I wear a Taoist robe and pretend to be blind?”

When Mrs. Gu heard this, she really wanted to kill Gu Ye, “He didn’t study hard at all, he only knew how to play with all his heart, and you still taught him to get something for nothing!”

Gu Ye spread his hands helplessly, “I’m just telling the truth. And you too, wear less red in the future. Else, the redder you wore, the poorer you will be.”

The 5 elements of nature are divided into gold, wood, water, fire, and earth, and so is the human body. Mrs. Gu obviously belongs to the gold element. With her rounded head, shapely ears, delicate features, small hands, round waist, and pale skin, this kind of facial features will surely make her rich and powerful in later days. It’s a pity that she likes red so much; her clothes, nails, and lips are all red. Red means fire and fire conquers gold, which makes her life rich, but she can’t retain any money in hand. The result is that everything in her life is supported by her husband.

“You!”

Mrs. Gu thought that Gu Ye is deliberately making her angry. In her heart, she said we’ll see how your father scolds you!

Not realizing that the atmosphere between his mother and brother is very disharmonious, Gu Yang looked left and right, and asked with a puzzled look, “Mom, brother, isn’t it cold to stand here? Let’s go home.”

Mrs. Gu gritted her teeth angrily. My son, are you a fool?!

Gu Ye raised his hand and signaled, “I still have something to take, so let’s go back to the old residence first.”

After the Gu family settled down in the capital, they still did not forget their homeland. They built a two-story house in their hometown and would come back every Qingming Festival to worship their ancestors. This body got driven back to their hometown because his father wanted him to reflect on his mistakes but he accidentally fell and lost his life. The result is Gu Ye, who has the same name, got the advantage and was reborn in the body. As soon as Gu Ye regains consciousness, he found that although the original body has the fate of premature death, he should have more than half a year to live. The reason why he died half a year early, it’s because there’s a wisp of evil aura left on him.

Gu Ye looked at his fingertips. He just took off the same kind of evil aura from Mrs. Gu and Gu Yang. Their situation was even more serious than the original body. It seems that there is something wrong with the Gu family in the capital.

After returning to the old house, Gu Ye led Gu Yang to the living room. With a serious face, he said to his younger brother, “See these? This is what your brother laid down for you. We’re going to pick these trophies off and take them home.”

On the wall is a wall of pennants! Big and small, all kinds of pennants!

“Wow! Brother, you are so amazing! You are as amazing as Big Brother and Second Brother!” Gu Yang clenched his fists in shock. At this moment, his Third brother’s image rose 18 meters high in his heart.

Mrs. Gu, who was a few steps behind, walked in to take a look. She sucked in a breath of cool air, these two rascals! If they take these things home, Gu Ye would have had his legs broken by his father!

Raw word count: 3869

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Banana: Heya, I have started a new project~ (0w0)/ Hope y’all like it. It won’t be easy as there are many keywords not translate-able to English :v

Btw, this novel is not meant to be binged because it has a handful of cases, like Detective Conan style. Banana recommend to stack case by case so that you won’t have to stop at cliff :3 I’m going to group the cases by same chapter title for easier browsing ya.

Also, one very important matter. Our site owner told us that 50% of the readers here are using adblock so Banana hope you could whitelist our site or disable adblock yo _(;3/