Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 88

Chapter 88 The Cat Old Lady (ETL)

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Chapter 88 If I can’t make you cry, I’ll admit defeat

Fu Ximing tried hard to persuade his wife to come back, “The master is here, what are you afraid of? As a daughter-in-law, you just need to kowtow and cremate the body, and that’s it. Just come back for my sake…”

“If you don’t come back, this matter won’t go away. What if she makes trouble again? She came to see me these two days. I almost died, do you know? If I die, how will you three live? You have to raise two children by yourself.”

Fu Ximing’s wife was also scared when she heard this, “Okay, I’ll go back. The children don’t need to go back, right?”

Hearing that his wife relented, Fu Ximing also took a step back, “Yes, our children don’t need to come back. You can send them to your mother.”

At the side, Gu Ye curled his lips and waved to Xie Cheng, “Let’s go and find where the old lady is hiding.”

Gu Ye and Xie Cheng walked around and found a big chimney on the opposite hill in the east of the village. Gu Ye pointed there, “There is corpse qi over there.”

“Wow, how did you see that? Why didn’t I learn about this skill?”

Gu Ye asked in disdain, “Did you really study hard?”

Xie Cheng laughed dryly, “Are you really only 20 years old? How did you manage to learn so many skills?”

“My master left a lot of books to me. I’ll show them to you someday.”

The offer left Xie Cheng was stunned. Gu Ye was too generous, he even wanted to show him the things from his own sect. Xie Cheng was touched, but he quickly waved his hand, “Forget it, no need. The book might know me but I don’t want to know them.”

Gu Ye had already given up hope on this simple-minded person. Only learn what he likes, and ignore what he doesn’t like. Why didn’t Mr. Tang beat him to death?

Finally, they met a villager passing by. Gu Ye asked with a smile, “Uncle, what is that?”

From the way they were dressed, the old man could see that the young men were not locals. The old man asked with a smile, “Are you two here for sightseeing? That place is not a good tourist attraction. It used to be a brick kiln, but it has been abandoned for a long time. The road is very difficult to walk on. You two should not go there. It is dangerous.”

Gu Ye nodded obediently. After thanking the old man, he looked in the direction and tsk-ed a few times, “Nope, it’s too tiring to climb up.”

Xie Cheng had already walked back to the car, “Let’s wait for her to come instead. It’s too hot. Let’s get back to the car.”

Two hours later, Fu Ximing’s wife Xia Yanjun came back. Xie Cheng raised his eyebrows and asked, “The distance between both homes is not very far, just a 2-hour drive. Still, you guys don’t come back to visit occasionally?”

Xia Yanjun laughed awkwardly, “This is really because we are busy with work.”

Her laughter was muffled as if it was squeezed out from her throat. There is a saying that goes ‘Laughing loudly with the mouth open is virtuous, but laughing from the throat is definitely treacherous.’ Gu Ye knew Xia Yanjun was not a good person at first sight so he was too lazy to talk to her.

Xia Yanjun asked, “Have you found my mother-in-law’s body?”

Xie Cheng raised his eyebrows and said nonchalantly, “Didn’t she come back by herself in the evening?”

Hearing that, the couple became scared, “If to wait for her to come back, won’t she…?”

Gu Ye said indifferently, “As long as you listen to me, she won’t hurt you. Have you prepared everything for the funeral?”

The couple laughed dryly; they didn’t prepare anything.

Realizing this, Gu Ye said unhappily, “Then start getting ready now. Prepare the hemp clothes and mourning cloth. Also, the old woman’s shroud and coffin, aren’t you going to prepare these?”

Fu Ximing said quickly, “I’ll prepare them right away.”

“Wait, it’s just the two of you, how to proceed with the funeral? Go and find someone to help, aren’t there a lot of neighbors here?”

Fu Ximing replied in embarrassment, “They won’t come, they’re all afraid.”

Gu Ye said coldly, “If they don’t dare to come, then go and invite them personally. Kowtow to every household to invite them, do you need me to teach you this?”

“What… kowtow?” Xia Yanjun’s facial features were wrinkled. To kowtow to strangers, what is this farce?!

Xie Cheng couldn’t bear it any longer and added, “If you want to live, just do it. Invite everyone here, especially the elders in the village. Do you want to sew your mourning clothes yourself?”

Xia Yanjun asked dissatisfiedly, “How can there be such a troublesome funeral in this era?”

Gu Ye asked back, “How can there be someone who make an old lady so angry that her corpse resurrect in this era? If you don’t do this, can you calm her anger?”

Although Xia Yanjun felt wronged, she also knew that she was not right. In order to solve this matter, she had to swallow her anger.

Fu Ximing quickly tried to smooth things over, “We’ll go there in a minute, is there anything else to do?”

Gu Ye said calmly, “Invite the previous helpers back and buy all the things. In the evening, you two should wear mourning clothes and kneel at the door to welcome the old lady back.”

The tedious instructions made Xia Yanjun a little annoyed. Just as she was about to speak, Fu Ximing pulled her, “Stop talking, we’ll listen to the master.”

Gu Ye glanced at Xia Yanjun, “Go and invite people now. You won’t be idle tomorrow, so be prepared.”

The two returned to the car and sat down. Gu Ye called home, “Mom, I won’t go back tonight so no need to look for me at home. It will take at least 2 days before I can go back.”

Mrs. Gu said worriedly, “Be careful. How about buying some gastrointestinal medicine first? Don’t eat the food in the mountains and get diarrhea later.”

Gu Ye didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. From this, it seems that his mother was really giving up on Old Fourth? That’s her biological son!

After hanging up the phone, Gu Ye asked Xie Cheng, “What are we going to eat tonight? There’s not much food left.”

Xie Cheng smiled and said, “I’ve checked the restaurants and hotels nearby. There’s a resort 60 kilometers north of this small mountain village where we can eat and stay.”

Gu Ye was speechless, “Do you have money?”

“You do!”

“I don’t have any, you’ll treat me tonight!”

“My treat…? Then I can only treat you to instant noodles. Let’s be extravagant tonight!” Xie Cheng slapped his thigh and said excitedly, “We can have 2 hams each, plus a bag of spicy meat strips!”

Gu Ye palmed his forehead, how poor is Xie Cheng?

Fu Ximing and his wife went to kowtow to their neighbors to ask for help. Now, because the old lady’s corpse was resurrected, every household is afraid and no one wants to come. But the neighbors have been here for so many years. The couple kowtowed as soon as they entered the door and spoke so sincerely. They also heard that the couple had invited a master to come. The neighbors have to give the face, so they hesitated for a long time before saying, “Okay, we’ll go over in a while.”

After finally successfully inviting one person, the couple went to another house to kowtow. It took 2 hours to invite all the elders and people who could help in the village. The time was already 4:30 pm at this moment.

After the invited villagers arrived, the elders asked, “You don’t have anything here, why do you ask us to come?”

Fu Ximing left his wife to entertain everyone and took a few people to the town to buy funeral supplies. They didn’t come back until almost dusk.

Several old ladies were sewing mourning clothes and hats while scolding Xia Yanjun, “You were not filial when your mother-in-law was alive, you deserve this.”

Xia Yanjun was so angry that her face turned red, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn’t drive them away. The more she acted like this, the more these old ladies disliked her. Previously, they didn’t want to say much, but now they couldn’t help it. One said a few words while another added a few more causing Xia Yanjun to run out of the house in anger and swore to her husband, “After this matter is done, I will never come to this village again. This poor and remote place is full of unruly people! If I come back, I will die a miserable death!”

Fu Ximing coaxed, “You’ll have to get over with today’s matter first. Go and take out all the vegetables I bought. Then cook a table of dishes and invite the villagers who helped to eat.”

“They scolded me and still I have to serve them?”

“We can’t detest the trouble, nor can we be afraid of spending money. We should not complain even if we are wronged. If we lose our lives, we lose everything. You understand, right?”

Xia Yanjun had no choice but to do it. However, none of the villagers stayed for dinner in the end. They left after finishing their business, leaving the table full of dishes.

Xia Yanjun said angrily, “If they don’t want to eat, we’ll eat it ourselves!”

Fu Ximing stood up, “I’ll go and invite the two masters in, let’s eat together.”

Xia Yanjun rolled her eyes and muttered softly, “I don’t know where you found these two masters who have no hair on their mouths1. Just messing around.”

Fu Ximing found Gu Ye and Xie Cheng and asked flatteringly, “Masters, why don’t you come in for dinner?”

Gu Ye held up the instant noodles in his hand and said, “No need, we already bought our food.”

Dinner was treated by Xie Cheng. They went out to find a supermarket and bought a few cups of instant noodles and ham sausages. After that, they borrowed the villagers’ kettles to boil a few bottles of mineral water. Gu Ye felt that instant noodles were quite fragrant after not having them for a long time.

Xie Cheng opened a can of food left over from lunch and said coldly, “Our Master Gu has a delicate stomach and can only eat food cooked with mineral water. So, he will feel sick and get diarrhea after eating your food. Please go back.”

Fu Ximing knew that the masters looked down on him, so he left awkwardly, feeling bad. Filial piety is the first of all virtues, and filial piety is a traditional Chinese virtue. Hence, he was looked down upon by everyone because of his unfilial nature.

After eating, Gu Ye and Xie Cheng took a nap in the car. Fu Ximing came again and asked fearfully, “It’s dark now. Do you two want to go to the house and sit?”

Gu Ye and Xie Cheng got out of the car and went into the house to see that everything was ready. The door was open and there was a small bed with the bed’s head facing the door. This was prepared for the old lady.

Gu Ye pointed at the door, “You two should wear mourning clothes and kneel at the door, waiting for the old lady to come back.”

Because Fu Ximing persuaded his wife again during the dinner, his wife no longer resisted the instructions. The two cooperatively put on their clothes and knelt at the door, trembling.

Gu Ye and Xie Cheng each moved a stool and sat in the yard, waiting for the old lady to come back. Seeing that it was past 11.00 pm, the legs of the couple were turning numb from kneeling. Then, a cat’s cry came from outside the door.

“Here she comes, she’s back.” Fu Ximing was so scared that he trembled, and his wife wanted to run away.

Xie Cheng knocked on the chair leg with a whip, “Don’t move and continue kneeling down. Whoever moves will be caught by your mother first!”

The couple knelt down in fear and dared not move. The figure of the old lady zoomed in quickly, and her movements were unusually fast. Seeing her son and daughter-in-law in mourning clothes, she was obviously stunned for a moment and stood still.

Xie Cheng jumped up excitedly, “Frck, is this the legendary walking corpse? This is the first time I’ve seen it! It really has a cat face! She looked at me! Gu Ye, she looked at me! What should I do?!”

Gu Ye’s mouth twitched, “Shut your mouth! Else, you’ll scare her away! Catch her!”

“How do you catch a walking corpse? I’ve never caught one before!”

“Just catch it like how you catch a ghost, where’s your whip?”

“Okay!”

Xie Cheng threw the whip in his hand and wrapped it around the old lady’s body. His whip was specially made, with something added to it to restrain evil spirits, unlike Fu Ximing’s fishing net. The old lady struggled a few times but failed to break free. The next second, she was pulled to Xie Cheng’s side.

Gu Ye immediately threw the talisman paper in his hand and stuck it on the old lady’s forehead. The old lady instantly stopped moving.

Observing her cat face from a close distance, it was even scarier. The hair on her face was so thick that it was hard to tell that she was a person. Especially the green eyes, the more you look at them, the more creepy they are. The old lady’s face was directly facing her son and daughter-in-law so the kneeling couple was so scared that they almost fainted.

Gu Ye glared at the couple, “What are you waiting for? Kowtow 9 times and invite her to go back!”

Xie Cheng reminded, “It should be loud, otherwise your mother can’t hear it.”

The couple was almost scared to death. After hearing this, they kowtowed loudly. The man kowtowed and cried, “Mom, I’m sorry! I know I was wrong! Your son kowtows to you!”

Gu Ye and Xie Cheng looked at each other and carried the old lady back to the bed. Fortunately, they came at the right time. The old lady’s body was not stiff anymore and it stopped rotting. She was full of ghostly qi, and the cat’s soul had merged into her body. If they came a few days later, the old lady would have become a Jiangshi, the kind that bites whoever she sees.

Gu Ye gestured to Xie Cheng, “Hold her down, I’ll pull out the cat’s soul.”

Xie Cheng stood at the head of the bed and held the old lady’s shoulders. Gu Ye made a finger gesture with his left hand and took out a cinnabar pen with his right hand. Next, he drew a talisman in the air and pressed it on the old lady’s forehead. After that, he hooked the cat’s soul and pulled it out with all his strength.

The cat naturally didn’t want to come out and screamed miserably. As it screamed, the old woman’s body continued to struggle, and Xie Cheng, who was strong, was about to be unable to hold it down. Gu Ye’s left hand struck down with a lightning spell, and the cat’s spirit immediately became a lot weaker. Taking this opportunity, Gu Ye pulled out the cat’s soul and put it into a small bottle. The old woman’s body instantly stopped moving, and the hair on her face faded little by little, returning to its original appearance. The corpse spots were already very serious, and the stench was more obvious.

Gu Ye said to the couple, “You two kneel all night to keep vigil for your mother. The incense can’t stop burning and the crying2 can’t stop either. Don’t even think about being lazy. If you let her get up again, no one can save you.”

“We know, we’ll kneel.”

After what happened just now, the couple were scared. Their legs were weak, and they didn’t dare to get up even if they were asked to. Now, they took whatever Gu Ye said as an imperial decree; kneeling, gr0an1ng, and crying all night.

The next morning, Gu Ye, who had slept in the car, told Fu Ximing and his wife, “Get up and move around. Eat breakfast then go to the neighbor’s house to ask someone to take your mother’s body to be cremated. When it’s done, you can bury her in the afternoon.”

The couple breathed a sigh of relief. After cremation, her corpse couldn’t be resurrected again, and they didn’t have to suffer anymore.

Xie Cheng reminded in a low voice, “Don’t think that the matter is over after the burial. When a person dies, the soul is still there. The first 7th day, the third 7th day, the fifth 7th… it’s not over yet.”

The couple was frightened and their expression changed again. They asked in despair, “Is it so troublesome?”

“Troublesome? If you could be filial to your parents when they were alive, would there be such a day today? It’s good enough that you two can save your lives.” Gu Ye waved his hand in disdain, “Go quickly.”

The two knelt for a whole night. They could hardly walk and their voices were hoarse (from crying). They supported each other to find some leftovers from the kitchen and ate a few bites. When they saw the old lady lying on the bed at the door again, they were terrified and wished they could bury her right away.

The couple gritted their teeth and persisted. They kowtowed to the neighbors to invite them for assistance. When they heard that the old lady was found, they didn’t dare to come instead. The couple spent a lot of effort to persuade the people, and they kowtowed until they almost fainted. Only then do they manage to invite a few people to come.

If it wasn’t that the old lady’s body had already smelled, and the weather was hot now, Gu Ye would have tormented the couple for a few more days. In the morning, they went to cremate the body, and the couple knelt again to see her off. The skin on their knees was broken from all the kneeling.

Fu Ximing’s father died early, and his mother had to be buried with his father, so the grave had to be dug up. The couple wore mourning clothes and walked around the grave, kowtowing to their parents, crying as they kowtowing. At first, the crying and wailing were just for show to others. Soon, they cried until they couldn’t cry anymore, they were so tired that they wanted to die, and they started crying from exhaustion.

Finally, the old lady’s ashes were buried. The couple lay in front of the grave, one of them still maintained the kowtow position with their head on the ground and couldn’t get up. The exhaustion was too much to the point that they almost fainted.

Gu Ye stood behind the two with a cold face, “You can’t bear it with just these? This matter is not over yet, isn’t your mother still watching you in heaven?”

The two knelt there in a stiff posture, and Fu Ximing’s wife broke down and cried, “Why is it not over yet? I don’t want to live anymore after all this trouble!”

“Well then,” Gu Ye looked at the grave seriously, “Did you hear that, old lady? Your daughter-in-law wants to go over and serve you.”

“No! That’s not what I meant!” Xia Yanjun was frightened by Gu Ye’s serious attitude. Could it be that her mother-in-law was really watching them? She kowtowed to her mother-in-law and said in horror, “If there is anything else we need to do, we will do it!”

Gu Ye said calmly, “It takes 7 days to walk through a Yama Palace, and it takes 49 days to reach the end. During these 49 days, your mother-in-law may come back at any time.”

The couple kneeling on the ground were frightened and pale, “Then, what should we do?”

“It’s very simple. You two wear mourning clothes every day and kneel for 49 days until the old woman passes away, then you can go back.”

When the two heard that they had to kneel for so many days, wouldn’t it last the whole summer vacation? The weather was so hot that even if they didn’t die from the heatstroke, their skin would peel off. Both of them had a look of protest on their faces.

Xie Cheng knocked on the whip in his hand and said in a low voice, “If you want to live, you have to kneel. In the future, don’t forget to burn incense and joss paper during festivals, the 1st and 15th days of the lunar month. You must know that the gates of hell are open at that time, and the old woman can come back to see you.”

The couple was frightened by this sentence. Fu Ximing really regretted it now. If he had been filial at the beginning, he would not have ended up like this.

Before leaving, Gu Ye opened the lid of the small porcelain bottle and buried it in the old woman’s grave.

Xie Cheng saw it but didn’t ask why on the spot. He asked Gu Ye only after they left the small village, “Did you leave the soul of the cat behind?”

Gu Ye explained, “This cat was raised by an old woman. It was an old cat in its twenties. Because its owner died, it was too sad and died of heart failure. It also contributed half to the old woman’s resurrection this time. These animals, especially those who have lived for a long time, have spirituality. I told it that if the couple didn’t do what I said and didn’t kneel for 49 days…”

Xie Cheng smiled, “This old cat will have to torment them.”

Gu Ye smiled, “Yes, and they are unfilial. This karma has already been owed, and they will get retribution from their children.”

Xie Cheng said with emotion, “It’s still true that ‘the old cat sleeps on the roof, and it will be passed down from generation to generation’.”

Sending Xie Cheng back first, Gu Ye also took the opportunity to look at Elder Tang. Before leaving, he told Xie Cheng, “If you meet this kind of disgusting bastard again in the future, don’t look for me, deal with it yourself.”

Xie Cheng nodded and agreed, even though he didn’t believe it. Just now, he received another order saying “My father’s ghost wants to kill me”, which was probably not a good thing. If he told it now, Gu Ye might end their friendship. He decided to hold it in until tomorrow.

Gu Ye drove home. His parents were in their company and hadn’t gotten off work yet. Only Gu Yang was playing games at home. The child’s pursuit has changed. His life goals have changed from flying a plane to driving an armored vehicle to building rockets and driving submarines, and later to being a doctor, a policeman, and a scientist… Finally, now, the child has set the last goal in his life: to be a professional game player with ideals, morals, and dreams!

So, the child still works hard to play games after being beaten by his parents countless times.

Gu Ye narrowed his eyes and hooked his finger at his brother, “Old Fourth, come.”

Gu Yang ran over happily. He was already a head taller than Gu Ye, tall and strong. The only thing that didn’t change was the smile on his face, clean and pure, with a sunny face.

Gu Ye said solemnly, “My foolish brother, you have grown up. As your elder brother, I have the obligation to let you know the dangers of the world, the complexity of society, and the darkness of human nature.”

Raw word count: 5590 (whole chapter)

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Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 87

Chapter 87 The Cat Old Lady (ETL)

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Chapter 87 Worse than a bird!

When asked by Gu Ye, the man was embarrassed and stunned for a moment. Then he nervously explained, “I was too tired that day so while sitting on the bed, I drifted to sleep. Master Gu, you have to believe me, I am telling the truth!” Continue reading “Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 87”

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 86 Part 2

Chapter 86 Gu Ye (ETL)

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Chapter 86 It’s so exciting! Part 2

Then, other people came to the hall one after another, and Gu Ye introduced them one by one, “Sister Hong Dou, you have seen her in the painting. Sister Hong Dou is the one who takes care of my food, clothing, accommodation, and transportation. She is a gentle lady. This is Qingyi, she can communicate with plants and listen to the sounds of nature. Temperament…” Gu Ye coughed and said seriously, “Good temper, also capable.” Continue reading “Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 86 Part 2”

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 86 Part 1

Chapter 86 Gu Ye (ETL)

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Chapter 86 It’s so exciting! Part 1

Yu Ze pulled Gu Ye in, rested his forehead on Gu Ye’s forehead, and asked happily, “Why didn’t you tell me before you came? I can go and pick you up.” Continue reading “Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 86 Part 1”

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 85

Chapter 85 Miss Ghost (ETL)

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Chapter 85 Let’s go to see your mother Yu Ze

After being put down, Miss Ghost tidied up her clothes and checked herself, fearing that she didn’t look good. Continue reading “Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 85”

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 84 Part 2

Chapter 84 Miss Ghost (ETL) Part 2

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Chapter 84 The ghost lady who made trouble in the crew

The next morning, Gu Ye logged on to Weibo while eating breakfast and saw that the person who slandered him still hadn’t apologized. Continue reading “Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 84 Part 2”

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 84 Part 1

Chapter 84 Miss Ghost (ETL) Part 1

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Chapter 84 The ghost lady who made trouble in the crew

Gu Ye sensed the ghost energy inside, and was pleasantly surprised but also felt uncomfortable at the same time. After scolding Ge Qiaojun countless times in his heart, Gu Ye signed for the express delivery. When he picked up the box, his fingers trembled. Continue reading “Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 84 Part 1”

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 83 Part 1

Chapter 83 Kidnapping (ETL) Part 1

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Chapter 83 Beat these scumbags to death!

Gu Ye took the child’s mother to the car while Mu Jingfei rode on her motorcycle. She sounded the alarm, and handed Gu Ye a microphone, “I’ll lead the way for you, so tell me the route in advance.” Continue reading “Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 83 Part 1”

Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 82 Part 2

Chapter 82 Kidnapping (ETL) Part 2

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Chapter 82 A Car of Human Traffickers

After a while, the boss lady brought 3 bowls of noodles with double meat serving, a large plate of braised beef, and 5 cold dishes, and said generously, “This meal is my treat. Let me know if you are not full and I will make more.” Continue reading “Even The Lame Got Tricked By Me Into Standing Up – Chapter 82 Part 2”